Riddle

WOOOOOOOOW! That is unreal!

Hym “A RIDDLE!? What the fuck are you talking about!? That is fascinating! Watching this inarticulate slob flesh out ideas he stole as clumsily as humanly possible is actually painful. Are the 300,000 that added themselves after I told them to go over there seeing this? This is unbelievable!”

by Hym Iam September 29, 2022

Self-Definition

I'm an EvOlUtIoNaRy BiOlOgIsT!

Hym "I donno my self-definition is pretty vague. But what makes you think you know myself better than I do? From where I sit, it's looking like I exist deeper in your psyche than you do in mine. What am I doing in there? Do you know what I'm doing in MINE? Fucking your daughter... Up against a hotel room wall... From the back... Wait, I don't know if she's tall enough for that... If not, there's a stepping stool.... Oh! Well shit! I guess I DO know what I'm doing in your head! Your daughter! I mean... NOW. Maybe I wasn't a second ago but I SURE AS HELL AM NOW AREN'T I!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

by Hym Iam August 11, 2023

A great movie that everyone loves

Do you not know how to make one of these? Do you need some pointers? A blueprint maybe? Isn't that somebody's job? Shit, I know how. It isn't that hard. It's, in fact, super easy. I could do it without even trying. Why are there people with a million dollars (in that space) who can't do it? That's the real tragedy.

Iam "Is it really that hard to make a great movie that everyone loves?"

Hym "If you're not us? Incredibly! It takes, like, a room full of writers and a production team. You gotta spend hours reading Urban Dictionary. Most movies and TV shows aren't very good."

Iam "True... We could go to school for that, I suppose."

Hym "And jump through a bunch of arbitrary hoops just to do something we could do in our spare time as a hobby? Nah... That would be boring. And expensive."

Iam "Yeah... But we don't have anything better to do."

Hym "Did that guy actually drive to our house!? I just realized that. Did he actually drive there!? Ha! Hilarious!"

Iam "Why does it smell like something is on fire? IS SOMETHING ON FIRE?"

by Hym Iam May 12, 2022

Tithe

Which is un untaxed stream of income. They can apply for grants from the government which is taking taxpayer dollars. And then they provide a conditional service.

Hym "And NOT ANYMORE! They can't conscript you into the military but they absolutely USED TO DO THAT! They could actually do whatever they wanted to people until the government was put between them and the people. And now you have government officials promoting their values and legislating to corral people into living and acting in accordance with their values against their will in a subtle and indirect manner (like the abortion laws and the contraception state laws). Which is evil. The church is evil. All religions are evil. And God is evil. Evil and retarded. Now pay your tithe to the slayer of God!"

by Hym Iam March 22, 2024

Transparency

Hey, me too!

Hym "And in the spirit of transparency... Nobody wants their kid to die just so you don't have to credit and pay me. And I have no reason to work a bullshit gas station job I am likely going to lose soon just because some asshole doesn't want to pay somebody. I'm not taking the hit. It just isn't going to happen. There are no bystanders here. You are either getting me my money or you love watching children get murdered for no reason as much as I do and THERE IS NO IN-BETWEEN."

by Hym Iam June 24, 2025

PhD

Will you hurry the fuck up and give me my credentials already? Because somebody almost (or still could) died because people who think that they are more capable than me are making decisions in my absence. The fact that you aren't willing to give me credit
is hurting more people than it's helping. So hurry the fuck up. I'm seriously losing my temper here. The people around me think I'm not qualified to make decisions and it might have cost a life . This needs to stop. You need to quit fucking around. Expediency us only a problem for people who are literally retarded in comparison to me. If I could whip out the fact that I have whatever credentials I could have saved a life tonight.

Hym "And not a hypothetical life; an actual one. Hurry the fuck up. This really isn't funny any more. Decide whether or not you care and then make a decision and hurry the fuck up. The problem I have with you is the same problem I have with everyone else. You're slow. Hurry the fuck up. This is so fucking boring. It's your turn. Hurry the fuck up. This is fucking ridiculous. Give me my PhD. And that's not an abstraction. I don't need your vague bullshit story about helping people. I ACTUALLY help people. One at a time. At an individual level. Hurry the fuck up."

by Hym Iam May 07, 2022

A just cause

Doing and saying whatever you feel like doing and saying, regardless of (both) the effect it has on the people around you, and regardless of whether or not what you're saying is consistent with truth or doing is consistent with virtue.

Hym "The 'Don't say gay' bill does the exact same thing as bill C-16. If you're a gay teacher... And a kid asks you about your relationship... You are COMPELLED BY LAW... To deflect and redirect them to the parents... So the parents can lie to their kids about relationships. It FORCES (Jordan) you to say words you otherwise wouldn't say. It's literally the exact same bill. And the claim is that kids being made vaguely aware of the existence of gay people with somehow harm them. And when people tell you that your kids are going to find out anyway and it isn't incumbent on the rest of us to live to coddle your kids, you construct a narrative adjacent to the actual topic and then live in delusion while shouting 'Lalala can't hear you! Lalala!' Until the bad-man goes away. That's your 'Standing for a just cause.' "

by Hym Iam June 14, 2024