Definitions by Hym Iam
Doctorate
Are you fucking kidding me!? Jesus Christ! This is horseshit! All that I do for you ingrates, and this fucking kids gets one!? This is the thanks that I get!? Un-fucking-believable! The Un-fucking-believability abounds! It's Un-fucking-believably un-fucking-fair!
Hym "Oh, yeah, sure. Just fucking give one to everyone but me! We'll just be doctor-world from now on! Just give a doctorate to everyone but Hym! And then you can make a movie about the only guy you didn't give a doctorate to and call it 'The sad piss-freak we all collectively decided not to give a doctorate to in spite of the fact that he was objectively better than everyone' I know... It's a mouthful. It's a little wordy. But it accurately describes what's going on here and that's what matters. First that bitch Taylor and now THIS!? YOU AREN'T SERIOUS PEOPLE! NONE OF YOU! YOU ACTUALLY EXPECT ME TO TAKE YOUR LIVES SERIOUSLY!!! You're taking deliberate action to spite me for not taking your lives seriously... AND THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT YOU DO! REPEATEDLY! OH MY GOD! UGH! 😫 WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS!? HOW AM I THE CRAZY ONE HERE!? Just... Just launch the nukes already... It's... We're done... We don't need to exist anymore..."
Harvard professors
Hym "Yeah, those harvard professors be ducking the shit out of people, don't they? But you know I would destroy you, right Mike? I'd be easy too. Easier than becoming the greatest writer of all time. Which was easy for me. But only because I'm a genius."
Harvard professors by Hym Iam April 12, 2023
Poison
Speaking of this...
Hym "Speaking of poison... It looks like Christianity is on the decline and I have successfully poisoned the book demon... Great job me! I claim this victory in the name of me. I'd like to thank me and the other me's for being me and doing what I canst do the least... Which is: Always a good job and never a bad. (That's a reference to one of the greatest things ever... Do you recognize it with your feeble monkey brains? I doubt it.. You don't know any of the stuff I know... Cus your brains are dumb...) Alright. That is all. I'm going to go give myself a round of applause... With one hand... A one handed round of applause... Masterbate... I'm going to go masterbate..."
Morpheus
Yeah... I know... That's like the point of my thing here. I actually said that. "I'm like an Agent Smith." Those were my exact words.
Hym "Yeah, no, seriously guys. I literally wrote the 'Morpheus' instruction manual. My exact words were something along the lines of 'If I was a kickboxer and said the shit that I say... I could easily make 200 million dollars. If I knew that hot chick... I could easily make 200 million dollars.. If I lived in a place where owning a casinos was legal and I had some seed-money (maybe from monetizing hot goth girls)... I could buy a casino and make 200 million dollars...' It isn't hard. At all. But the thing I said what happening to me IS in fact happening. So, I needed a birds-eye-view and to be more than one guy... So... Byakugan! Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! There... Now I'm like an Agent Smith and we all see the thing they are doing to me. It's too easy. Really. It almost bores me to death... Almost..."
Cancel Culture
Ope! See that? See, it's not that the cancel culture is bad and wrong. It's not the top down ideological control by way of the media being used to destroy people lives for trivial things... It's the religious conservatives not being in control of everyones lifes. That's the problem with cancel culture. The REAL problem is that THEY should be doing the canceling.
Hym "But... Matt... You said that the tactics they use are fascistic... You spent years saying that the woke left are the REAL fascists... And now your solution is to... Do the thing that made them fascists? So... You ARE a fascist! A fascist theocrat with a God complex. Nutsworld. This cancel culture is the death of freedom and if you take one thing away from this I want it to be this: On a long enough timeline, what you're doing is going to necessitate violence. You might not even live to see it. But it'll be whoever you indoctrinated to believe what you believe before you die (probably you kids) and the are going to be slaughtered and they are going to deserve it. And I'm going to laugh. It's going to be hilarious to me! Because I will have been right... Again! And being right is my favorite! Ahahahahahahahaha! Even if I'm dead. You'll KNOW that I WOULD HAVE laughed. And that's just as good. It makes my laughter eternal. HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!"
Cancel Culture by Hym Iam April 12, 2023
The Most Important Film He's Ever Made
THAT'S WHAT THE OTHER GUY SAID! And the charlatan! Everything I do is literally THE BEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER DONE!
Hym "LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT HIM! THE MOST IMPORTANT FILM HE'S EVER MADE!?!? The premise of the film is LITERALLY my relationship with Dr. Jordan Peterson! A renowned psychiatrist is SUMMONED by a guy claiming to be a demon. THAT is LITERALLY THIS! HE EVEN USED THE SCENE I DESCRIBE WHERE I GOT SO SAY SOMETHING AND THE LIGHT FLICKERS (Except in the trailer the light explodes but whatever)!The most important thing he's ever done! Why!? Because this is LITERALLY the most compelling thing ever written! Every day I grow closer to surpassing Shakespeare! Prerequisite text! Greatest writer in the history of humanity! Cannot be surpassed! The single most productive and generous man in the history of humanity! Giving away billions, literally! The greatest mind! A literal genius by every definition of the word! BETTER THAN EVERYONE!!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOOOO ME!!!"
The Most Important Film He's Ever Made by Hym Iam April 12, 2023