13 definitions by Hubert Cumberdale Jr.
The act of shoving a Barbie doll up your asshole feet first. The doll's unrealistic physical dimensions make it easy to slide deep into one's rectum until only the head is visible.
My gay threesome with Alan and Julio was going great until they held me down and gave me a Malibu Dream House. I still can't get the brown and red stains off my favorite Skipper.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. September 25, 2010
1. The act of passing flatulence while tightly bundled under covers or in a sleeping bag with another individual, thus creating a warm, pungent pocket of gas that is incredibly unpleasant to be party to.
2. An awful cooking show on RFD-TV ("Rural America's Most Important Network") mocked on a weekly basis by Joel McHale of The Soup.
2. An awful cooking show on RFD-TV ("Rural America's Most Important Network") mocked on a weekly basis by Joel McHale of The Soup.
1. My girlfriend kicked me out on the street after I gave ger a Dutch Oven last night. She still can't get the smell out of her hair.
2. Dutch Oven is the most unintentionally hilarious television program out there.
2. Dutch Oven is the most unintentionally hilarious television program out there.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. February 25, 2008
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. May 30, 2008
The vast area encompassing New York State north of Westchester county. A varied mosaic of farmland, woodland, picturesque rolling hills, and towns and cities ranging from the charming to the decrepit. Generally more provincial and less cosmpolitan than its densely urban New York City counterpart, its citizenry is more approachable and friendly albeit less refined and cultured than the pretentious yuppies of New York and Long Island. Some of its urban centers are buoyed economically and culturally by the influence of many universities and (in the case of the capital region) government administration centers; however most of its large cities are mired in varying states of urban decay and have been hemorrhaging population since the 1950s due to a steady loss of jobs and a subsequent increase in crime. Utica, Rochester, and Newburgh are particularly miserable places to set foot in. Its more rural areas, which feature breathtaking landscapes, are lovely and bucolic albeit mind-numbingly boring to actually live in.
In summation, upstate New York is too large and varied an area to define succinctly. As a native resident of New York City who went to college upstate I can both laud it for being physically beautiful and its natives for being candid, frank, and hospitable while noting that I would never want to live there permanently as life there can grow trite, repetitive, cold as hell, and insufferably boring after a while and the locals' lack of sophistication and city-esque hustle, while charming at first, can also eventually grow unflattering. Not that I'd want them to change. Their lack of tact and culture is offset by their good character and sincerity, something too many city residents and Long Islanders sorely do not have. Both Upstate and Downstate need each other, more or less. It's a yin-yang thing.
In summation, upstate New York is too large and varied an area to define succinctly. As a native resident of New York City who went to college upstate I can both laud it for being physically beautiful and its natives for being candid, frank, and hospitable while noting that I would never want to live there permanently as life there can grow trite, repetitive, cold as hell, and insufferably boring after a while and the locals' lack of sophistication and city-esque hustle, while charming at first, can also eventually grow unflattering. Not that I'd want them to change. Their lack of tact and culture is offset by their good character and sincerity, something too many city residents and Long Islanders sorely do not have. Both Upstate and Downstate need each other, more or less. It's a yin-yang thing.
New Yorker 1: I'm going upstate for the summer.
New Yorker 2: You'll love it in Upstate New York for the first few weeks. It's nice to get away from the yuppie assholes down here for a while. Eventually, though, you'll need to come back to civilization.
New Yorker 2: You'll love it in Upstate New York for the first few weeks. It's nice to get away from the yuppie assholes down here for a while. Eventually, though, you'll need to come back to civilization.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. February 18, 2008
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. May 15, 2011
A violent sexual act involving the thrusting of a an erect penis into a partner's open eye followed by kicking said partner's leg in a manner severe enough to cause significant pain and/or damage, temporarily giving them the appearance of a one-eyed, peg-legged pirate.
Things were going great with Emily until I gave her a Pittsburgh Pirate. Apparently most chicks aren't willing to lose the use of their limbs or eyes for the sake of unparalleled eroticism and unprecedented sexual gratification. Women.
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. May 11, 2009
The most self-righteous, self-important, incredibly arrogant generation of all time. The progeny of the Greatest and Silent Generations, who grew up with the hardship of the Great Depression and won World War 2, the baby boomers had everything handed to them on a silver platter from day 1.
They act as if the world (particularly THEIR progeny, Generations X and Y) owes them a gigantic debt of gratitude for how they perceived they changed society. They romanticize their promiscuous, drug-induced escapades as having been some sort of Earth-shaking cultural movement that changed the course of history. As if they were the first and last generation to get fucked up and have random sex, and as if that somehow changed the world.
By the 80s every hippie had somehow lost touch with his values of altruism, free love, and selflessness, and had transformed into a suit-wearing, cutthroat yuppie. By now he's a middle-class suburbanite slob. Growing increasingly irrelevant, the baby boomer is trying to insist that his generation was God's gift to the world when in reality it was a selfish, petty, hedonistic generation that turned its back on everything it once stood for.
With modern medicine and a society that is increasingly health-conscious, the boomers are guaranteed to live on for decades beyond their utility, leeching off their posterity (a younger generation smaller than their predecessors, the first Americans who failed to reproduce at a sustainable rate) to the very end.
They act as if the world (particularly THEIR progeny, Generations X and Y) owes them a gigantic debt of gratitude for how they perceived they changed society. They romanticize their promiscuous, drug-induced escapades as having been some sort of Earth-shaking cultural movement that changed the course of history. As if they were the first and last generation to get fucked up and have random sex, and as if that somehow changed the world.
By the 80s every hippie had somehow lost touch with his values of altruism, free love, and selflessness, and had transformed into a suit-wearing, cutthroat yuppie. By now he's a middle-class suburbanite slob. Growing increasingly irrelevant, the baby boomer is trying to insist that his generation was God's gift to the world when in reality it was a selfish, petty, hedonistic generation that turned its back on everything it once stood for.
With modern medicine and a society that is increasingly health-conscious, the boomers are guaranteed to live on for decades beyond their utility, leeching off their posterity (a younger generation smaller than their predecessors, the first Americans who failed to reproduce at a sustainable rate) to the very end.
Baby Boomers: You punk kids should show some respect for your elders!
Punk Kid: Weren't you the ones who invented the phrase "Don't Trust Anyone Over 30?"
Punk Kid: Weren't you the ones who invented the phrase "Don't Trust Anyone Over 30?"
by Hubert Cumberdale Jr. July 25, 2010