A proud redtail hawk, she came to theJanuary 6 party equipped with a hurtin’ flagpole from her 2nd grade classroom.
“Daddy, is that what you call redtail hawks?” asked little Mimi, pondering MSNBC’s endless loop of veins-in-their-teeth Capitol insurrectionists.
“Daddy, is that what you call redtail hawks?” asked little Mimi, pondering MSNBC’s endless loop of veins-in-their-teeth Capitol insurrectionists.
by Hifalutin! February 01, 2022
“Love you Want you Need you,” snivels Patrick in his 14th text message of the day.
“It’s this very bleakiness that turns me off,” sniffs Tinsley. “It’s become an endless drag, a plague – he’s a boiled bullfrog and he’s the last to grasp it.”
“A boiled bullfrog!” says heartthrob Benjamin when notified that Arabella refused to accept his bouquet of Equadorian red roses. "First, the Hanky Panky thongs, which I could return, and now this. I never thought I’d see the day when I would play that croaking fool, but Arabella has had me slaving at her feet for months and I will never be free.”
“It’s this very bleakiness that turns me off,” sniffs Tinsley. “It’s become an endless drag, a plague – he’s a boiled bullfrog and he’s the last to grasp it.”
“A boiled bullfrog!” says heartthrob Benjamin when notified that Arabella refused to accept his bouquet of Equadorian red roses. "First, the Hanky Panky thongs, which I could return, and now this. I never thought I’d see the day when I would play that croaking fool, but Arabella has had me slaving at her feet for months and I will never be free.”
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022
“I used to be overmedicated, lithium, Wellbutrin, benzo’s up the wazoo,” drawls Gigantor as he lolls back in the well-worn hammock. “But I dropped all that. I find that staying wasted on Durban poison and Cuervo-and-fresh-squeezed-lime margaritas fixes me up fine with fewer side effects. The joys of overselfmedication.”
When Charles arrived to pick Shi’diqua up for the gig, he found the lass indacouch as always. “You’re so overmedicated,” Charles said condescendingly.
“Baby,” Shi’diqua murmured, wishing Charles would get dopesick for once. He had gone so vanilla since Wesleyan. “Just overselfmedication. Can I fix you a dirty martini—or two—before we launch outta here? There’s time for a toot, too. I just cleaned a quarter.”
When Charles arrived to pick Shi’diqua up for the gig, he found the lass indacouch as always. “You’re so overmedicated,” Charles said condescendingly.
“Baby,” Shi’diqua murmured, wishing Charles would get dopesick for once. He had gone so vanilla since Wesleyan. “Just overselfmedication. Can I fix you a dirty martini—or two—before we launch outta here? There’s time for a toot, too. I just cleaned a quarter.”
by Hifalutin! February 23, 2022
Jumped out of the Town Car and tripped onto the red carpet, bulbs flashing, "Leo! Leo!"--sheeeit, forgot my mask! I'll look like a tool in Star. Third time today. All that primo Jack Herer weed doesn't help.
"We need snow bomb provisions," Tron nagged me. But I had to drive home without the requested t.p., soy milk, Heineken Zero or Gerber peas, and got seriously spanked. Sheeeit, forgot my mask! Again!
"We need snow bomb provisions," Tron nagged me. But I had to drive home without the requested t.p., soy milk, Heineken Zero or Gerber peas, and got seriously spanked. Sheeeit, forgot my mask! Again!
by Hifalutin! February 06, 2022
Joseph blew off three out of four females he hooked up with. All of them wept, unaware of how chronically ghosty he was. It truly wasn’t any girl’s fault.
“I know I’ll only see you this once,” Mariah grinned to herself as she lubricated Toby. “I’m just as ghosty as you are.”
“I know I’ll only see you this once,” Mariah grinned to herself as she lubricated Toby. “I’m just as ghosty as you are.”
by Hifalutin! February 22, 2022
“Welcome,” Panda told Reen, whose watch cap was frosted over with sleet. “Take The Good Chair.” It was mama’s, and lumpy, but had a 'seasonal view' of the Palisades. And mama was out at the live chicken mart.
“I call it!” says Tiger Cub, jumping up and down and further soiling the upholstery with her muddy Vans.
“Get down this minute,” thunders NancyLee. “Grandmaw wouldn’t want you all up in The Good Chair, would she! Now, or you’re gonna get a whupping!”
“I call it!” says Tiger Cub, jumping up and down and further soiling the upholstery with her muddy Vans.
“Get down this minute,” thunders NancyLee. “Grandmaw wouldn’t want you all up in The Good Chair, would she! Now, or you’re gonna get a whupping!”
by Hifalutin! February 18, 2022
Caution from one citizen to another regarding the insufficient protective qualities of cloth masking.
"Pretty masks make you sick!" said Henry as his ladyfriend Wendy came around the corner, showing off her new daisy-printed hand-sewn cotton mask. "N-95s all the way, dude!"
by Hifalutin! January 13, 2022