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Definitions by Hifalutin!

Fanny Mail 

Sexts sent to major stars by rabid fans.
“I was glad I’d done due diligence on the Peloton,” aging Alice grinned as she snugged up her Eileen Fisher trousers. “I wanted the fanny mail I texted The Boss to be taut, and you should have seen that shit.”

“Tracy’s gone over the deep end, gifting fanny mail to all her faves, Drake, Nikky Jam, you name it,” Ike said ruefully. “At least I know the thongs are legit; I ordered smoked lace for her, 3 for 40 bucks from Savage X Fenty, the Valentine’s special.”
Fanny Mail by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022

Toxic wastrel 

Scientist who analyzes Covid-infused doo doo.
“Old man Fauci himself praised my work on the University lab’s bug squad,” lies Elmore. “It’s a shit job, but toxic wastrel’s got to count the spikes to pay the bills.”
Toxic wastrel by Hifalutin! February 2, 2022

Ellavate 

To emulate the sublime scatting of the Queen of Jazz.
Me: You’ve got to come see my niece Addie solo with the high school jazz band—for a ninth grader, she seriously ellavates that shit.
Family friend: Must be in the blood – You used to know something about ellavating when you were a young chanteuse.

“Whitney could trill for sure,” asserted the pompous pop critic, “but she never had it in her to ellavate.”
Ellavate by Hifalutin! February 2, 2022

Redtail hawk 

Rank and filer in Trump’s war of aggression.
A proud redtail hawk, she came to theJanuary 6 party equipped with a hurtin’ flagpole from her 2nd grade classroom.

“Daddy, is that what you call redtail hawks?” asked little Mimi, pondering MSNBC’s endless loop of veins-in-their-teeth Capitol insurrectionists.
Redtail hawk by Hifalutin! February 1, 2022

Porch cop 

Nosy neighbor who keeps an eye out for pirates on your porch.
Porch cop said she was bringing over homemade chocolate chippers, but she really wanted to get a look at our entry way.

“GoPuff never sucks,” glowed Brian. “As soon as Irene the porch cop sees the delivery guy drive up, she gives us a jingle to let us know the booze is here.”
Porch cop by Hifalutin! January 31, 2022
The predictable failure of streaming-related technology.
“Grrrr,” storms Penelope. “Why does it have to be bRoku right when we’re on the last episode of Sort Of?”

“We’ll have to do Get Back at your place,” I explained lamely. “Our set is bRoku again.”
bRoku by Hifalutin! January 30, 2022

mask smiles 

What a lost generation will remember of their youth.
"Later, Joseph would recall not only the hardships but the small things, the lollipops and mask smiles."

"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
mask smiles by Hifalutin! January 28, 2022