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Definitions by HeroHandy

flash handy 

The fastest handy ever! The hand job equivalent to knocking off a "quickie".
Guy:"Damn girl, I'm horny as fuck!"
Girl:"My mom will be back soon- only have time for a flash handy."
flash handy by HeroHandy May 7, 2019

clan clinger 

An ex boyfriend or girlfriend who refuses to go away through clinging to his or her relationship with your family members (your "clan").
"Jon is a total clan clinger- I bet he tries to date your sister just to get on your nerves!"
clan clinger by HeroHandy May 7, 2019

smoke broker 

Your friend who always has a smoke you can bum when you're fiending for a drag, but you got nothin for puffin.
"Hey Carl man, can I bum a smoke?"
"This is my last one, dude. Go ask Jake, he's the smoke broker around here."
smoke broker by HeroHandy May 7, 2019

book boyfriend 

The hero Male character in the romance novel you're currently reading. Because real men suck at romance, the book boyfriend exists to fill the void.
"Who's Gabe again?"
"The badtard son of a rodeo clown who has a heart of gold and a lurid past."
"And where did you meet this guy?"
"I didn't. He's my book boyfriend. "
book boyfriend by HeroHandy May 7, 2019

lame duck husband 

When a husband who used to be king shit in his house and marriage becomes powerless because his wife caught him doing something on the down low, and she refuses to leave him- but uses her knowledge of this event as emotional blackmail hence, usurping his powers- preventing him from any activity she deems unfit or not to her liking.
"Where's Sean? He's supposed to be my darts partner tonight!"
"Man- Jenn caught Sean fucking around with Kourtney. He's a lame duck husband from here on out!"

Quarter deck 

Punishment imposed by your DI when you're a jarhead that fucked up royal. Often involving murderous sets of pushups or other calisthenics.
"Get your ass on the quarter deck and start pushing, maggot!"
Quarter deck by HeroHandy May 7, 2019

Hot Olivia 

When a runner girl climbs on top of her man fresh off a workout and pulls off her sweaty sports bra, drenching him in boob sweat. This can be both a form of erotica or punishment, depending on the stank from the workout.
Guy: "You ready for deez nutz?"
Girl: "Only if you're ready for some Hot Olivia- let me shower first!"
Hot Olivia by HeroHandy May 4, 2019