Harris Bergstein's definitions
The culinary delight that results from riding the subway with your lunch in your back pocket. Kind of like a modern-day saddle steak.
My wallet felt a little softer than usual when I sat down on the L this morning and then I remembered I'd put a PBJ in my pocket. By the time I got to work, it was the perfect back-pocket panini, flat and warm. Only thing missing was grill marks.
by Harris Bergstein April 30, 2009
Get the back-pocket paninimug. 1. A poorly maintained tambourine. Perhaps because it got dropped in a puddle or left outside or something.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
1.
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
by Harris Bergstein November 3, 2007
Get the rusty tambourinemug. The artful display of the bared nipples or cooter, typically while entering or exiting a limousine, possibly while accompanied by other tween queens or noted amateur pornographers, in the hopes that such displays of surgery-mangled teats or Cletus-ravage pissflaps will attract the fickle lens of an itinerant paparazzo, with the ultimate goal of garnering column inches in Entertainment Weekly. Historically, actresses and singers of dubious talent have had the dignity and self-respect to limit such displays to the centerfolds of men's magazines--where the graces of airbrushing and a little vaseline on the lens masks all manner of caesarean scars, razorburns, and waxrashes. If this trend continues, it is only a matter of a short span of time and a large pile of blow before the phrase "to go Lohando," in addition to the traditonal nip and quim slips, will also come to include deliberate public displays of one's horribly distended anal pucker and the televised insertion of specula into every unplumbed orifice. But hey, it still beats watching <I>Freaky Friday.</I>
Carlo: I think I might go Lohando, but I'm worried that these Daisy Dukes might interfere with my dangle.
Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
by Harris Bergstein December 24, 2006
Get the go Lohandomug. 1. Like a sitrep, but in a civilian / corporate context and, more specifically, describing a situation that has absolutely no silver lining.
WALT: Hey boss, looks like we have a big problem here.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
by Harris Bergstein May 12, 2010
Get the shithapmug. The art of playing the rules instead of playing a game. For example, trying to work out a walk in slow-pitch softball. Swing the bat, you puss!
Also applicable to weenies who demand free throws after the slightest contact in a pick-up basketball game and d-bags who take yardage penalties in backyard football games.
Also applicable to weenies who demand free throws after the slightest contact in a pick-up basketball game and d-bags who take yardage penalties in backyard football games.
Pops: Hit it out of the park, boy!
Son: Don't pressure me, I'm trying to work the count.
Pops: Don't play lawyer ball, son.
Son: Don't pressure me, I'm trying to work the count.
Pops: Don't play lawyer ball, son.
by Harris Bergstein December 24, 2006
Get the Lawyer Ballmug. An individual of Scandinavian descent. Also applicable to landlocked enclaves of Scandinavian emigrants, such as the entire state of Minnesota, even though these communities no longer choke their herring in the traditional fashion but instead rely on commercial canneries to pre-choke and pickle their fish.
by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
Get the herring chokermug. "Hey Janet, could we move the sales meeting to the conference room? The pornophile across from my office is watching a three-way on his widescreen."
"It's nine thirty in the morning."
"It's porno, Janet, not gin."
"It's nine thirty in the morning."
"It's porno, Janet, not gin."
by Harris Bergstein December 19, 2006
Get the pornophilemug.