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Handcuffmonkfish's definitions

berniebitcoin

Noun - fictional

BernieBitCoin is a vaporous currency backed by Krapchat. It's what you're possibly left with after buying into the $15 an hour working minimum wage movement that some folks think is designed to make cat food the national dish of the American Middle Class.
"Daddy, I'm hungry, what's for dinner?"
"Go ask your other Daddy. I'm the mama Daddy. We have a half a can of cat food. You want something else, cough up some BernieBitCoin or get a job."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 17, 2019
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fucking Hopeless

fucking Hopeless - when you've been going out with a girl named Hope and she starts cutting you off below the waist, then your best friend tells you that she found a guy with a bigger dick, a nicer car, more money and who eats her out until she comes three or four times before he even thinks about asking for a blowjob, you realize you are fucking Hopeless.
"I called her grandmother up on her landline and she said the little slut ain't home, she's probably out fucking that good looking guy with a nice car lots of money and all those sores on his tongue, I guess you're fucking Hopeless. Too bad, I liked you. Want to come over and pump a hot load in my ass for sympathy? Bring a pack of camels and pint of gin if you do."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 30, 2020
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EBR

"EBR", an acronym used to express one's musical tastes, the initials suggesting "Everything But Rap."
My music I guess is like Rock, Jazz, Country, Blues, whatever, you know, EBR.
by Handcuffmonkfish August 30, 2019
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edjumacation

edjumacation - a learning discipline employed by ugly heterosexual high school gym teachers who tutor after school sexually repressed students who are late comers to puberty and EDGE them slowly with unlubricated foot jobs over the course of a school year to their first explosive orgasm, a coming of age ceremony generally witnessed by the entire class that takes place from the foul line of the basketball court with the intention of hitting five to seven shots in a row that would be total swishes except the first one would clog the net totally until it flows over the edge of the rim, to be licked up by the night janitor.
"I don't care if I don't play football and get to go to the prom with my steroid shriveled testicles, I'm getting a good edjumacation."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 30, 2020
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Fartcap

Fartcap, cheeky noun, political

Bipartisan, Uni-sex, peaceful alternative to a Pussyhat or MAGAhat, allows men to tip hats at ladies in chivalry as opposed to telling them to blow it out their ass, while also permitting women to avoid the embarrassment of a public pussy fart.
They're total political opposites, they hate each other, they won't even look at each other when they fuck, but they're the happiest couple I've ever seen in my life. You can leave your Fartcap on.
by Handcuffmonkfish October 22, 2019
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Love ๐Ÿ’• shove

A single thrust of a penis in a vagina during sexual intercourse. Countable noun.
"She kept talking during the movie and people in the theater were complaining so I threw her over the seat and gave her a good, long Love ๐Ÿ’• shove..."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 29, 2020
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STFU

Stfu
See through fucking underwear.
What people always talking about how big or tight their crotch musculature is should wear.
"If your dick is the size you say why aren't you a STFU model?"
by Handcuffmonkfish December 24, 2019
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