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Handcuffmonkfish's definitions

edjumacation

edjumacation - a learning discipline employed by ugly heterosexual high school gym teachers who tutor after school sexually repressed students who are late comers to puberty and EDGE them slowly with unlubricated foot jobs over the course of a school year to their first explosive orgasm, a coming of age ceremony generally witnessed by the entire class that takes place from the foul line of the basketball court with the intention of hitting five to seven shots in a row that would be total swishes except the first one would clog the net totally until it flows over the edge of the rim, to be licked up by the night janitor.
"I don't care if I don't play football and get to go to the prom with my steroid shriveled testicles, I'm getting a good edjumacation."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 30, 2020
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Fartcap

Fartcap, cheeky noun, political

Bipartisan, Uni-sex, peaceful alternative to a Pussyhat or MAGAhat, allows men to tip hats at ladies in chivalry as opposed to telling them to blow it out their ass, while also permitting women to avoid the embarrassment of a public pussy fart.
They're total political opposites, they hate each other, they won't even look at each other when they fuck, but they're the happiest couple I've ever seen in my life. You can leave your Fartcap on.
by Handcuffmonkfish October 22, 2019
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VoiceWreckIgnition

VoiceWreckIgnition

When you're driving somewhere and you are using voice recognition on your cell phone or other device and the resulting text you transmit is actually a mashup and or sampling of what you originally say with unexpected and unwanted auto corrections and other voices or any number of sound sources or noises, including music, mechanical, natural disasters or bodily functions. This may or may not cause a motor vehicle accident.
"On my way to ***** ******** for a wedding I’ll give you call when I get back Monday would you do why do you get four 9595 south left what the fuck you doing... Watchout this is VoiceWreckIgnition!"
by Handcuffmonkfish October 30, 2019
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Snowfarts

Noun...

Political, derogatory,

see Snowflakes

definition: A Snofart is a Snowflake who does not shower before a political demonstration or protest.
The demonstration stunk. It was overwhelmed by Snowfarts...
by Handcuffmonkfish April 18, 2018
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Cha Cha Cha

Cha Cha Cha

Acronym for Clear Her Agenda

a demand for the greater good, repeated and again, to be heard LOUD AND CLEAR, used sparingly and deadly seriously, generally when you realize that you have pushed the kindest, most wonderful selfless and hardest working woman in the world to the brink of the Angelic smile fading from her face as you treat her like a rented mule.
You don't know how good you got it with that woman, she don't need roses, trust me, maybe you better clear her agenda, take her dancing, cha cha cha before it's too late.
by Handcuffmonkfish October 22, 2019
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STFU

Stfu
See through fucking underwear.
What people always talking about how big or tight their crotch musculature is should wear.
"If your dick is the size you say why aren't you a STFU model?"
by Handcuffmonkfish December 24, 2019
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Morninggloryus

To celebrate people who share intense feelings of affection for one another, using word play from Morning Glory implying a wonderful prior evening together, glorious in the form of Glory us, and finally the combination of morning Glory and us.
"Last night with you? It was #morninggloryus."
by Handcuffmonkfish September 26, 2019
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