Gruntie Stevie's definitions

Schlom

The backflow of various bodily fluids upon the conclusion of anal sex.

I lashed out on some upmarket satin sheets for the occasion only for him to schlom all over them when I pulled out.

by Gruntie Stevie June 19, 2022

playing with her lightswitch

Clitoral masturbation.

She just sat with her legs up, pants down, and playing with her lightswitch until she squirt.

by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019

Pouring a Guinness

The act of passing diarrhea, usually whilst travelling abroad.

"How was Gary this morning?"
"Oh, not too flash, he was on the shitter all night, pouring a Guinness well into the wee hours

by Gruntie Stevie October 25, 2020

Trouser Sneeze

Ejaculation in one's own pants, literally. Metaphorically used as an expression of ecstatic excitement.

"Did you just snow your dacks?"
"You bet I did! I just had a massive trouser sneeze"

by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019

mega gruntie

A bowl movement, jobbie, or crap session of such intensity that it is measured to the power of one million standard craps. Such is the magnitude and intensity of a mega grunty that it can be beyind the capability of the average colorectal system and therefore a mega grunty may need to be delivered by cesarean section. A mega gruntie can be both intense and satisfying and can therefore result in a backdoorgasm.

"Sorry to take so long, I was almost torn in half at the seams by a massive mega gruntie!"

by Gruntie Stevie September 19, 2019

humph-a-dumph-dumpher

A spontaneous and frenzied sexual intercourse (or attempt thereof) without awareness or concern if sexual engagement is successful.

By the time he got his pants off he was already thrusting randomly in a rage of pure humph-a-dumph-dumpher

by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019

tweeties

Noun. Female genitalia. Unoffensive juvenile slang

"Papa! I did a fart that went from my bum to my tweeties!'

by Gruntie Stevie September 21, 2019