The one day a year the father is actually honored by his family and given a 24 hour pass to relax and not dole out money to his ungrateful kids or spend his entire weekend with a list of chores from his wife.
“Honey, I need you to clean out the garage after you mow the lawn. Oh wait, it’s Father’s Day, isn’t it? You can do those chores next weekend along with other ones I’ll have added to your list.
by Grant Rampus June 20, 2021
Chronologically, the marital partner between first and third wives. Not to be confused with the hot chick at the office your current wife accuses you of wanting to bang (aka office wife). Historically, the second wife is the rebound relationship after dissolution of the first marriage and often your first wife’s best friend. Known in your friend circle as the chick who is blessed with heavenly fucking skills but also a nanny for your shared custody of your kids. General life shelf of the second wife is 5-7 years though this time frame can be extended if she comes equipped with a trust fund or unplanned inheritance.
After his divorce from his first wife, Tim was in need of someone to cart his kids around when he had them every other weekend, clean his apartment, and have sex when the mood hit. Tim was in need of a second wife.
by Grant Rampus January 19, 2019
When all rational thought and behavior goes out the window on a sexual conquest. More succinctly put, when you are no longer in charge of rational decision making, as your dick is calling all the shots.
Larry was clearly no longer in control when he flirted so heavily out of his league with Linda. He was suffering from a case of dick-in-charge.
by Grant Rampus August 16, 2016
The mantra of every salesperson alive, they promise the client unachievable results if they just sign on the line. Once the dream is sold, the operations team then needs to unravel the web of deceit sold and "recalibrate" the client's expectations (i.e., the nightmare).
Todd: " How did we lose our biggest client last week?"
Tyler: "It seems once they talked with Operations they realized there was no way they could make that deadline. Another classic example of 'sell the dream, live the nightmare."
Tyler: "It seems once they talked with Operations they realized there was no way they could make that deadline. Another classic example of 'sell the dream, live the nightmare."
by Grant Rampus July 31, 2016
Adorning the wall of a hospital main lobby, the donation wall of shame outlines for patients and visitors alike how much individuals and corporations have donated to the already tax-free hospital. Shamefully categorizes the donors into patronizing names such as “gold donor” and “friend.”
The donation wall of shame at St. Agnes Memorial Hospital always greeted visitors with a reminder of how strategic Home Depot was with their tax write-off, but also how cheap the other businesses were in town.
by Grant Rampus September 22, 2019
Ex wife: the gold digging whore you share custody of your kids with and owns all your stuff. Primary reason you sleep on a fouton above a Seven-Eleven.
by Grant Rampus July 06, 2016
The universal paint color a landlord sprays on the walls of an apartment between tenants. Apparently blind to any of the hundreds of colors available, a landlord will universally choose “landlord white” harboring under the delusion that is what most tenants would choose if they had a choice.
Landlord: “I gave the apartment a fresh coat of paint before you move in.”
Tenant: “Let me guess: landlord white?”
Tenant: “Let me guess: landlord white?”
by Grant Rampus November 28, 2020