37 definitions by Grant Rampus
That critical moment of moral dilemma when you need to decide to hold the door open for somebody who is trailing behind you...or let it go. Generally resolved if you think they saw you looking at them - so you don't look like a complete asshole letting the door close on them. Problem can be compounded if the person running for the door is a hot chick but she's miles away and you look like a fucking doorman holding it for 3 minutes until she reaches the door.
Brad held up his lunch group heading to the cafe because he decided he needed to hold the door for Jenny, the hot chick from HR, that was headed her way. Brad was suffering from door hesitation.
by Grant Rampus August 12, 2016
The appropriate distance one must live from their in-laws so they can tolerate them. General rule of thumb is just far enough so they can't drop by unannounced.
When looking at new houses, Rick had to tactfully remind his new wife that the appropriate distance-in-law in that state was no less than 75 miles.
by Grant Rampus August 31, 2016
A common Boston saying when driving, since no one in the city uses a blinker. This rude, yet common, driving behavior transcends all ages and gender.
by Grant Rampus August 2, 2016
Best show on HBO that no one has ever watched. Main reason for streaming HBO to your Apple TV, although you still won't watch it.
"Hey Dave, I just started streaming The Wire on Apple TV. Have you watched it?"
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
Dave replies, "Not yet but I've been meaning to for 14 years."
by Grant Rampus July 4, 2016
The chief strategist of a building project and general rapist of the land needed to "improve" the community. Cunningly masters the art of deception as he solicits investors and prepares bogus tax returns for financing the project.
An expert at filing for bankruptcy at the end of every business cycle, still manages to live in a huge house, while those residents he displaced still search for affordable housing.
An expert at filing for bankruptcy at the end of every business cycle, still manages to live in a huge house, while those residents he displaced still search for affordable housing.
The real estate developer paid homage to the historical neighborhood he razed by cladding his own 15,000 square foot mansion in brick.
by Grant Rampus July 7, 2016
The unintended weight loss that occurs from going through a divorce. Possibly nature's way of removing 15 years of being a sloth to get you ready for dating again. Don't throw the old clothes out yet; all lost weight comes back once settled down after the rebound relationship.
Holy shit, Monica is looking hot! She must be hitting the gym after Todd left her.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
Nah, she's on the divorce diet. Enjoy the view before she gets remarried.
by Grant Rampus July 28, 2016
Most men, particularly husbands, are earsighted - the condition of being borderline deaf when 3 feet from their spouse. Problem amplified when their wife is assigning chores or talking about her day. Fortunately, those afflicted with being earsighted are usually quite adept at hearing far away, like when their friend has pulled into the driveway to take them away.
The doctor put down his ear scope after examining Jeff and asked him if his wife started a new job. Upon Jeff confirming, the ear doctor explained that Jeff was suffering from a case of being earsighted.
by Grant Rampus January 28, 2022