20 definitions by Gary Vitalis

Top Definition
Sandals worn by liberals, women in Vermont, and for some unknown reason, evangelical youth pastors trying to appeal to young adherents of Christianity.
Pastor Mike has a goatee and wears Birkenstocks--he looks like a pothead for Jesus when in reality his only addictions are online porn and energy drinks.
by Gary Vitalis February 22, 2007
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This cat fought for the "liberation" of Cuba from tyrants while in fact he helped put in place an even bigger tyrant by the name of Fidel "no more toilet paper for our shitty island" Castro. This "freedom fighter" is 40 percent to blame for the slaughter of innoncent industrialists who sought to make the best of the island's natural resources and keep the savages at bay.

I bet his beard is a hit in Hell where he is burning for eternity with all Amway salespeople and Johnny Carson.
If Charlton Heston had sex with one of the monkeys on "Planet of the Apes" his offspring would have looked like Che Guevara.
by Gary Vitalis August 18, 2009
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An individual, usually a young black male, who converts to Islam while in prison and then returns to his pre-Muslim ways when on the outside.
James can be seen in his dad's front yard sippin' on a foty (fourty ounce malt liquor bottle), eatin' fried pork skins, smokin' Newports, and beatin' on his old lady--a classic Malt Liquor Muslim.
by Gary Vitalis February 02, 2007
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A retirement plan, of sorts, where an individual makes a bogus back injury claim and files for unemployment, social security, and/or insurance payments. This is a steady source of income for many dirtbags living in Alabama and Mississippi.
Mama, I'll be gettin' my own double wide 'cause my check's in the mail!--Alabama 401K in action!
by Gary Vitalis February 09, 2007
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A trailer park Corvette is a late 1970's to early 1980's Pontiac Firebird or Chevrolet Camaro. These are the most undesirable years for these vehicles hence they make a very cheap addition even to a household with the most fincancial mismanagement, aka white trash welfare sponges. If these fine examples of American technology actually crank, they will typically run on 6 of 8 cylinders. Don't expect to find a catalytic convertor on these straight-piped beauties.
Billy Hutto just bought himself a 1982 'bird. It smokes like a crack whore at a Baptist convention and the title is questionable at best. He sure has a fine trailer park Corvette. It's a shame that his kids won't get to enjoy since DHR took them away. He seemed to think that Lucas motor oil treatment was more important than shoes for school.
by Gary Vitalis January 30, 2007
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A delicious snack consisting of green (raw), unshelled peanuts boiled in salt water. This delicacy is typically purchased in gas station parking lots and roadside vegetable stands and consumed by southerners of all socio-economic backgrounds. Almost always served in Styrofoam cups and wrapped in the skimpiest napkin ever made, this salty snack is intended to be shared with family and friends although it is not uncommon for asocial types to devour the whole cup as to not share any with his wife/mistress.

Rich Birmingham Business Man: Mama, I got a cup of boiled peanuts for the Auburn vs. Alabama game.

Broke-Ass Methamphetamine-Addicted Construction Worker: Mama, I got a cup of boiled peanuts for the Auburn vs. Alabama game.
by Gary Vitalis February 18, 2007
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Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.
Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.
by Gary Vitalis February 22, 2007
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