FridgeRaider's definitions

substitute teachers

1. Wannabe teachers who fill in when regular teachers are unavailable. During strikes, are called SCABs. Usually lost without lesson plans, and serve more as adult supervision than in teaching capacities. If they attempt to teach, they frequently contradict what the regular teacher has taught. Also known as subs.

2. Prostitutes hired for the purpose of teaching uninitiated kids about the birds and the bees by friends orredneck rents who can't figure out any better way to get the lesson across, or perhaps because they want to watch and learn a thing or three themselves.

That sub we had today was a real substitute teacher.

by FridgeRaider May 23, 2004

girlfriend in training

A naive, usually preteen lolita that an older guy flirts with, with or without pedosexual intentions.

Watch out! Your girlfriend in training is starting to wear a bra.

by FridgeRaider May 29, 2004

shit happens

A universal religious concept:

Taoism: Shit Happens.
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, take hostages.
Buddhism: If shit happens is it really shit?
Protestantism: Shit happens if you work hard.
Catholicism: Shit Happens, I deserve it.
7th Day Adventist:Shit happens on Saturday.
Mormonism: Knock Knock, Shit Happens.
Judaism: Why does shit happen to me?
Krishnaism: Shit happens, ring a dingy ding.
Jehovah's Witness:People now living will see shit happen.
Paganism: Each shit has its own name.
Atheism: Bullshit!
TV Evangelism: Send more shit.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.
Sunday School student:I gotta go!

by FridgeRaider May 31, 2004

indoor sports

Incest. See also bedroom sports.

When Lassen County has blackouts for up to four days in subzero weather and whole families get bored, there's nothing to do but play indoor sports. I dare say they don't stay bored.

by FridgeRaider June 2, 2004

kiddie

What a pedo wants.

Can you get me some kiddie?

by FridgeRaider June 8, 2004

twelve

I should be twelve.

I like girls, just don't expect me to say it out loud.

I hate 'em too - very loudly.

I didn't mean to, somebody pushed me!

School days are way too looooong.

Weekends are way too short and not enough of 'em.

Is it Lunch yet?

Who taped thumb tacks to my chair seat?!?

I wanna drive it!

But I want one with a motor on it!

Where's the food?

OK, the can's open. Now what?

They are not from K Mart!

Hey! You ever played with a Harry Potter Broomstick? No, I mean played with one.

Do I gotta do math today?

Who cares who was President in 1841?!? He's dead ya know!

Oh, wow! Stephanie's bending over! Nnnnniiiiiicccccceeeee!

I don't think I'll ever be old enough to get away with that.

If the doctor puts his hand under boys' balls and says to cough, what does he do to girls, grab their tits and say to fart?

See? I would make a great twelve-year-old. Been there, done that. Being twelve is wasted on people who will spend a whole year learning how to be twelve and when they finally get it right, they turn thirteen and have to start over. Being twelve should be reserved for people who already know how.

by FridgeRaider October 2, 2004

Bullshit

The atheistic incarnation of the universal religious concept of shit happens.

See shit happens for some of the other denominational incarnations of the universal religious concept.

by FridgeRaider November 8, 2004