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15 definitions by FlowersInMidgar

Comedic writer, video game reviewer, columnist for Electronic Gaming Monthly magazine, Super Friends enthusiast. Robotic killing machine (unconfirmed)

Known for his open nerdiness and pop culture appreciation but even more for his hilarious mastery of descriptive, analogy-driven comedy.

Seanbaby is the closest thing to an Internet Comedic Writer God.
Seanbaby recounting his ex-girlfriend's reaction to playing Aquaman:

"She played it for a few minutes, I assume to help understand why I hate my life, and ended up saving an Atlantean prisoner. With a flourish, he said "Thank you, Aquaman!" and swam off. She replied, "You're welcome, fellow underwater fag!" Then a beat. And then, "This sucks."
by FlowersInMidgar September 29, 2006
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Occupation: Elitist Nerd/Moderator/Know-it-all Douchebag
Physical Description:
A piece of shit between two slices of crap.

Traits:
- Inability to carry on an adult conversation with anyone, over any subject, at any point in time.
- Constant Sand-in-Vagina.
- Punctuates every statement with a concentrated burst of CrackPr0nium, a horrid combination of arrogance, close-mindedness, hypocrisy and fecal matter.
- Unprofessional moderation that makes the mods at GameFAQ's look like the moderators at anywhere but GameFAQs.
- Followed by a loyal (but very small) group of assholes who constantly defend the horrid orgy of piss and stank that is CP's personality

SN analysis:
- Usage of word "Crack"
Borderline retarded, if this were 1996 when "crack" was still fresh. Now it's beyond gay.
- Usage of word "porn"
Cool, if you ask a 12 year old. To everyone else, it's beyond "crack".
- Usage of internets misspelling "pron"
So stupid, that the first two instances are actually elevated to a level that one may view safely without a eBullshit filter.
CrackPr0n is to: Moderating
as
Monkey is to: Building a time machine out of bananas and crap.
by FlowersInMidgar January 9, 2007
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Literal - To present something, whether an idea, project, product, etc. by way of a phone call, rather than in person.

Used to describe a lazy or uninspired attempt.

Minimal effort.
Kate: "God what an ass."
Bill: "No kidding, I can't believe what Joe's saying!"
Steve: "n00b!!!1!"
Bill: "Way to 'phone it in' Steve..."
by FlowersInMidgar October 28, 2006
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Player Killer
An anti-social gamer (...NO WAY!) who takes out the frustration of their Dorito crumb covered, introverted lives on strangers in a video game. That's right, a fucking VIDEO GAME!
The only place people like this can feel some modicum of pride or strength.
That is to say, imaginary and anonymous.
So you're a fat, 20-something, smarmy, arrogant, neckbeard pker who lives to "grief noobs" as a make-believe barbarian?....
You must have hot and cold running chicks like, all the fuckin' time!
HAhahaa!
....ah, no seriously, you're fucking tool.
by FlowersInMidgar August 11, 2007
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Blu-Ray Player/Game System/Cash Sink

Cost of average Blu-Ray player:
$1,000.00
Cost of average game console:
$300-500.00
Cost of PS3 (combine Blue-ray cost to console cost and then read)
$600.00

Think about that. "It's cheap for what you get."
...and you get what you pay for.

My point is: You're not getting a Blu-Ray player for 600 bucks. You're getting it for considerably less after you factor in all the other parts. More like $300-400. and that leaves the game system coming in at 200-300 dollars.

How good do you think a 300-400 dollar blu-ray player is going to be? If not? How cheaply made is the gaming system?

If a regular blue-ray costs almost double the whole PS3 package, either the player is bare-bones and made of shoddy materials (common for Sony) or all the other Blu-ray players are vastly over-priced, over-hyped and aren't worth the money (very likely).

Either way, Sony is cutting HUGE corners somewhere in this thing.
PS2 had one of the worst DVD players on Earth. Why? Because it was an add on. A secondary feature. Only now the secondary feature over-shadows the main event!

PS3 is made to appeal to gamers looking for an image-enhancing system. The flashier and most expensive = the best.

PS3 is doing so badly and is such a nasty mess, that most game companies have already pulled out of exclusive deals and taken their games multi-platform because of the orgasm of bad ideas, practices and ridiculous greed of Sony.

Sony fanboys praise the system as being the most powerful despite the lack of good games.
Which would hold more value if these same fanboys didn't claim that "power wasn't everything" last generation, when the PS2 was weaker than XBox (and the same for XBox fanboys)but had better games.

Sorta proves they really don't have any particular qualifications for best system, other than "Sony/Microsoft made it"
The PS3 is like a nice car that comes with an airplane.
You want the car but, you have to buy the airplane and the airplane costs way more than the car. Then you need an airport to use it (Hi-Def TV)
The extra feature overshadows the primary concern.
Sony has marketed the PS3 as a computer system.
The problem is, Sony already makes computers! I could buy a Vaio cheaper and do more with it.
by FlowersInMidgar May 2, 2007
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A status symbol for nerds with money to burn. I got rid of mine after I found out just how Sony planned to support it. (READ: Poorly) and how they treat anyone who tries to support it well (i.e Lik-Sang)

Sony fanboys delude themselves into thinking that anyone who hates the system is either "poor" or, "a kid" who must own a DS. Which hurts when you use your gaming choice as a measure of your own self-worth.

One common insult, is to attack a person's wealth (and thus, their worth)

The thing is, if you can afford to buy a PSP you can afford a DS (eventually games and accessories destroy any accusations of poverty. Poor people don't buy video games, it goes in with the whole "not having money thing". (surprise!)

The difference is, while the DS owners are busy playing more new games, the only thing PSP owners seem to have are emulated 15 year old games FROM NINTENDO and a Grand Theft Auto port, and you need to hack the thing to play the old games! (and updating firmware, which is required to play the newer games, negates you're ability to hack. And "bricking" the system, which fanboys seem to glaze over is quite common.

You'd think being such "big spenders" (and thus, better than you) they could afford portable DVD players and all the great features that PSP has only much much better. If PSP players are so wealthy, then why don't they buy an Alienware laptop?
It's like a guy with a cool car mocking a guy with scooter, while a guy with 5 luxury cars, a yacht and a helicopter in earshot just shakes his head.
PSP is a like a hummer. Looks cool but runs out of gas before you leave the driveway.
DS is like a sensible, comfortable car. Isn't as flashy but better in what's important.

DS section of store: lined with games not all great but the ratio of good to bad blows PSP away.
PSP section of store: slim section filled with 60-70% movies you already have on DVD with one or two good games swimming a small collection of poorly to average-rated ports.

Most PSP owners are more concerned with appearing cool (which they don't, neither do DS owners). They think ownership of such, makes them better some how, which is sad on so many levels. They wear their ownership of a fucking game console as a badge on honor. It's not.
PSP fanboy: You're just angry you can't afford a PSP.

ME: Actually I owned an imported white PSP and I used it as a 250 dollar MP3 player.

PSP fanboy 2: u phail n00b go play kidee gamez on ur DS PSP pwnz joo!!111!

Me: *marvels at irony of FB2 calling anything I do "kiddie" (Castlevania?) owns me, Really? Why?

Well spoken fanboy: Because you can hack the firmware and emulate SNES games on it for starters.

Me: No kidding? and you find paying $250 for a portable high-end system just to play 15-20 year old Nintendo/Sega games on the go, is worth it?

Fanboy 3: PSP is the best portable ever it owns.

Me: Sounds more like PSP "owns" you.
by FlowersInMidgar May 1, 2007
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Verb past tense
Language of Origin: "little boy"
Meaning: "I beat you" or "You were beaten"
xX1337pkerXx (playing WOW):
"u jus c m3 i ttly pwned that nub!!111!"

*woman walks by and brushes the 1337's shoulder*
*1337 boy wets his pants*

xX1337pkerXx:
dud a fukin hott chic jus tuched me im t0tly gon^a fuk her!!!111!
by FlowersInMidgar August 20, 2007
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