Florida Sunshine's definitions

hogan's homo's

This is what happened to Colonel Hogan and the rest of his G.I.s after they were never rescued from Colonel Klink's Stalag 13 concentration camp.

Sergeant Schultz!! Did you witness colonel hogan buttfucking Kinchlo? Did you see 'hogan's homo's' in action??
Sgt. Schultz replies, "I SAW NOTHING!! NOTHING!!'

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

cunt opener

Many years ago Father's would force his daughter to wear a chastity belt to prevent her from losing her virginity. Sometime during the Industrial Age the 'cunt opener' was invented. It was a device that hung on the wall developed by Black and Dekker. You would insert the woman upside down and she would spin around until she fell to the ground and the little magnet would retain the chastity belt.

Crap, her Dad padlocked a chastity belt on her!! Dudes, anyone got a 'cunt opener' on them?

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

homo d. clown

A twisted gay black clown that hosts a show for little childrens. The clown tries to get the little childrens to let him put his black penis in their mouths and right when they open wide, he hits them with a flour filled sock several times and scolds them for being so gullible and stupid.

C'mon little childrens, Let Homo d. Clown put his black cack in your mowves. Here we go, here we go... say ahhhhhh??? *whack whack* What da hell you thinking you faggot kid!? HOMO DON'T PLAY DAT!!!

by Florida Sunshine November 14, 2009

supercalifragilisticexpialidouchebag

While holding a record as one of the longest words in the English Language, it's origins can be traced back to circa 1964 when the Disney Movie was first released. Modern Etymologists explain the origin of the Term; While it appears that Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke had a loving working relationship during the filming of Mary Poppins nothing was further from the truth! Julie Andrews basically despised Mr. Van Dyke and believed he was constantly 'show boating' and trying to grab all of the attention from her. Julie had hold up in her dressing room and refused to come out for the next scene. Mr. Van Dyke knocked on her trailer door and said, "Ello, Ello, M'Lady! Hurry up Julie, we're doing the scene where you float down on your umbrella for the 'Magical Arrival' scene. It's reported that Ms. Andrews replied, "Fuck you! I hate you!! You're a 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidouchebag'!!!! And get away from my door!! Why don't you go eat "A Spoonful of Feces you Motherfucker!!!

Common use Nowadays: That guy over there thinks the movie 'Mary Poppins' was the Best Movie ever made! What a 'Supercalifragilisticexpialidouchebag'....

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009

over deathtimate

This is what our fucking national news media does every fucking time some nut starts killing people or some tragedy takes place. It's also the reason the news now calls one soldier 'a troop' as in 25 Troops were killed today. It starts with some saddened faced motherfucker female or male and they always start high with the death count from 'anonymous sources' and hope that they're are babies and pregnant women involved because it sounds a lot more tragic! Any death is tragic but our 'man bites dog' fucking media hopes for a high death count whether it be war, some psycho, plane crash, tornado, hurricane etc. Fuck you to all news networks everywhere you fucking shameless death mongers.

BREAKING NEWS: There was a 'massacre' at a high school today and there are 41 known dead... BREAKING NEWS: We just found out there are only 38 known dead... 32....29....27....19.....11.... BREAKING NEWS!!! Massacre at the high school continues with this update!! 3 people were killed today in a High School massacre!! Two of them were the gunmen..... BREAKING NEWS, the high school student is wounded but in stable condition but the two gunmen are dead in this 'HIGH SCHOOL MASSACRE'!! More to follow...I hope our breaking news helped to 'over deathtimate' the death count so it sounded a lot larger of a number that had died and more of a tragedy to all of you reality fucking morons out there!!

by Florida Sunshine November 14, 2009

desert dick

'Desert Dick' or as it sometimes referred to 'SPGS' (Sandy Penis Gulf Syndrome) or PTDDD (Post Traumatic Desert Dick Disorder) first came into origin around the 1980s during the first Gulf War Conflict. It is the gradual build up of sand around the Penis glans from extended Desert winds and Sand Storms mostly experienced by U.S. male Soldiers. While it is not a malady that female soldiers can get, they are still affected by the Desert Dick Syndrome. During coitus with a male soldier the female soldier can sometimes be overheard stating, "Oh my God, that feels like Sandpaper! Do you have Desert Dick?" At that point you can simply ignore her, deny having Desert Dick, or simply give her a firm "Camel Punch" in the back of the head.
The 'Desert Dick' should never be confused with the 'Dessert Dick' which is entirely different but oft mispelled or mistaken. The 'Dessert Dick' involves gently laying the penis on a long boat-shaped bowl, adding strawberries, banana slices, some Cool Whip, and gently topping your nuts with nuts.

Man, I'm so tired of having Desert Dick. I could try soaking my penis but I heard that there's a sandstorm on the way so why bother??

by Florida Sunshine November 9, 2009