Badman Place

A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?

Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
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Break-Dancing Fred

A thick old twat who performed a geriatric break-dance on Britain's Got Talent whilst claiming benefits for being disabled.
Does the old dickhead think that the benefits people don't watch television?

But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
by Flappy Dickwad May 28, 2009
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Scotching

What Pork Scotch does all day long and never gets bored doing it. This detestable activity includes wearing silly shorts you've no right to wear when you're well into your 60s, rattling bunches of keys because it makes you feel important, going out with ugly goofy old women, driving a ridiculous half-car, wearing snot-yellow coats because you're terrified of a drop of rain, listening to gay South African music and most importantly having a barbecue at least once a day in the Summer.
What's Pork Scotch up to today?

Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.

Doesn't he ever get bored of it?

Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
by flappy dickwad August 20, 2009
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Pork Scotch trousers

Boring, sensible black trousers with flaps over the back pockets. Worn by fat security guards who go out with men in drag, these trousers send people to sleep just by looking at them.
What the hell is fatboy wearing?

Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.

<snore>
by Flappy Dickwad May 18, 2009
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Pork Scotch Pants

Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?

They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
by Flappy Dickwad May 05, 2009
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Spack Dancer

A retard who lives with Nogtard and dances to gay pop songs while Monk and Mick deliver Sargent's apple pies to Nogtard.
Oh no, we can't deliver Nogtard's pies.

Why not?

There's a spack dancer having a fit in the living room.
by flappy dickwad July 25, 2009
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Pork Scotch sandals

Crabby, disgusting sandals worn on the piggy trotters of little fat security guards who think its cool to holiday in South Africa.
Sweet Jesus. What's that little fat twat wearing on its filthy feet?

Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
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