Crabby, disgusting sandals worn on the piggy trotters of little fat security guards who think its cool to holiday in South Africa.
Sweet Jesus. What's that little fat twat wearing on its filthy feet?
Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch sandals mug.Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.
Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
by Flappy Dickwad June 03, 2009
Get the Pensioner Pants mug.A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?
Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
Get the Badman Place mug.Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
by Flappy Dickwad May 05, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Pants mug.A good place to hide an illicit traffic cone. Therefore this is the most hated vehicle of little fat security guards who think they're the most important people in the world.
Why is Pork Scotch looking more miserable than usual?
He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
by Flappy Dickwad May 07, 2009
Get the Maltby lorry mug.A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
by flappy dickwad May 06, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Moustache mug.What Pork Scotch does all day long and never gets bored doing it. This detestable activity includes wearing silly shorts you've no right to wear when you're well into your 60s, rattling bunches of keys because it makes you feel important, going out with ugly goofy old women, driving a ridiculous half-car, wearing snot-yellow coats because you're terrified of a drop of rain, listening to gay South African music and most importantly having a barbecue at least once a day in the Summer.
What's Pork Scotch up to today?
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
by flappy dickwad August 20, 2009
Get the Scotching mug.