Hug Quotient

The likelihood as measured by probability theory that you will experience a hug within a certain amount of time. Even when there are hug-restrictions imposed by external entities- whether they be societal, institutional or ethical- the shared, in-vivo space will, regardless, invoke the possibility of a hug, thus increasing the Hug Quotient. In the event that a hug cannot be delivered as only determined by a null hypothesis and there's not even a random friggin way to get a hug, the remote suggestion of a hug will continue to stimulate the memory of physical contact, reminding the body of its ability to induce a warm feeling of comfort and connection.

Curly: I just got a new on-line therapist
Mo: yeah, but those quacks have no Hug Quotient

Curly: Therapists aren't allowed to hug, idiot

Mo: idiot, you're the one with the therapist

Larry: You guys should try Ketamine

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it December 29, 2018

“Call Google”

What a dumbass says

Worker: sir, our servers have been hacked and google can’t pull up the page
Inept IT Manager: Well, I think we need to “Call Google”.

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it August 02, 2019

foreveroast

Payback that lasts forever

He’s just into foreveroast. He won’t ever show up.

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it June 05, 2019

Black Kettle Disorder

Also known as BKD, is a disease-not covered by insurance- that is marked involuntary behaviors that drive the individual to accuse another of the very same thing the individual is guilty of. Exacerbations of disease include psychological projection and hypocrisy, which are difficult to treat.

D has Black Kettle Disorder, he loves to externalize blame about the exact same thing he is guilty of . Unfortunately, the only available treatment we have for BKD is a very effective suppository called "MyFootInYourAssinol". So I think his prognosis is excellent.

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it September 15, 2020

apocalaundrypse

It’s bad. It’s really bad. Socks start to asexually reproduce, towels haunt you in the night, don’t get me started on the underwear.

I fear the end of days is approaching; be wary it is the apocalaundrypse! Let’s pray.

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it September 23, 2019

bananeurysm

when you flip out and it's the size of a banana

The monkey had a bananeurysm when the rat took his banana.

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it November 17, 2020

ear pressure

similar to peer pressure but is experienced when one has an ear infection and still gets pressured from friends to do stuff, and those friends chronically don't show up anyway

Hey, quit with the ear pressure, bro. Yeah, I'm distracted because there's pus coming out of my ear!

Otherwise I'm the most gorgeous creature you've ever met. ;-P

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it May 28, 2019