Figleaf23's definitions

drain the snake

Urinate (in reference to the possessor of a penis)

Usually when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you need to do is drain the snake.

by Figleaf23 December 29, 2008

trifecta

1. a horse-race betting combination wherein you pick three horses to win, place, and show. A difficult bet to win, with long odds and high returns.

2. Something President Bush said when a combination of three threats appeared and turned his popularity rating around in the 2001-2002 period.

Bush said "I hit the trifecta."

by Figleaf23 January 2, 2009

go fuck yourself doctrine

The go fuck yourself doctrine states that anyone and everyone, WITH NO EXCEPTIONS WHATSOEVER, can go fuck themselves.

For example, the go fuck yourself doctrine states:

Oprah can go fuck herself.

Mother Theresa can go fuck herself.

Ghandi can go fuck himself.

50cent can go fuck himself.

Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill and Nelson Mandela and the Pope and Ayatollah Khameni can all go fuck themselves.

You can go fuck yourself.

I can go fuck myself.

God can go fuck itself.

by Figleaf23 August 4, 2007

'roid monster

Short for steriod monster. Someone whose overuse of steroids renders them notably different from the human norm in some respect(s). Typical characteristics include: huge gnarled muscles, bad temper, irritability, leathery skin, grotesqueness of features, puffy, constipated, pain when urinating.

The 'roid monster snarled at all who approached as he stood wimpering at the urinal.

by Figleaf23 August 15, 2007

murphy bed

a built-in bed that folds up into the wall of a room.

Comedian: My first apartment was so small ...
Audience: How small was it?
Comedian: My first apartment was so small the mice had to have murphy beds.

by Figleaf23 December 16, 2008

pome

pronounced "pomm-ee"

Originally an acronym for the status of inmates sent to Australia: 'Prisoner of Mother England'.

At first used by the English to describe Australians (as anyone Australian must, obviously, have come from prison), now in a strange refersal used by Australians to designate anyone from England.

"Oid loik ta waelcum tha pome baastud ta god's awn eu-uth, and ta remoind him we deown't loik stack-ap sticky beeks reound hee."

by Figleaf23 January 1, 2009

bombed

a special state of inebriation in which privileged members of society can go unbothered by the authorities

Police Officer: Do you realize you were going 100 in a 50 zone?

Rich Drunk: Sorry, officer, but I'm BOMBED!

Police Officer: Oh, okay sir. Drive carefully.

by Figleaf23 January 14, 2009