Fearman's definitions

Simpson Rebuttal

An answer to the argument in favour of belief in God formulated in Pascal's Wager, formulated in turn by that great philosopher, Homer J. Simpson. Essentially, the God we are asked to believe in on the strength of Pascal's Wager, presumably the Judeo-Christian Jahweh, is merely one of thousands if not millions to have been worshipped throughout human history. Assuming the mere numbers of the faithful are an unreliable guide to the veracity of this god's existence (and no serious scholar of human beliefs would argue otherwise), then how do we know we've got the right god?

Simpson Rebuttal:

"But Marge! What if it's the wrong god? We'd only be making him angrier and angrier every Sunday!"

by Fearman February 23, 2008

Mr. Natural

Long-bearded earthy worldly wise simple genius invented by cartoonist R. Crumb. The only man in history (according to one cartoon) to get a new lease on life when, once he had died, God asked him what he thought of Paradise and his scrupulously honest aesthetic appraisal of the whole place pissed off the Big Man big time. Best known for such catch phrases as "Keep Truckin'".

Mr. Natural, the coolest beardy dude in history, even makes sandals look good.

by Fearman April 11, 2008

now a minor motion picture

Now a minor motion picture: a blurb I have yet to see on a book cover. Have you?

How to Rationalise Telling Sam She was Akin to a Dead Mouse in a Latrine in Swahili, by R.A.K. Martin-Smythe. Now a minor motion picture from the Confrere Brothers.

by Fearman May 30, 2008

mention Voldemort

To say something not meant to be said in polite company, thereby committing a serious faux pas. To say something politically incorrect. From the arch-villain of the Harry Potter series, whose name is not supposed to be mentioned in civil wizarding company.

I was only talking about how we need animal protein in our meals ... did I mention Voldemort there?

by Fearman August 4, 2007

mocking is catching

Old expression found in Ireland (or the backwoods of County Clare at any rate), translating roughly as "don't laugh at others, you'll do something stupid/ get old and crotchety/ otherwise get into a fine state youself and wouldn't like being laughed at."

You might think I look silly in this get-up, but just remember, mocking is catching.

by Fearman March 19, 2008

Mel Gibson

"Actor" and director, full name Mellicent Religiosus No Sodomites Please I'm Catholic Gibson, who was born in New York State and made it big in Australia playing a former cop who becomes a hero for a lot of post-Apocalyptic Aussies when you can tell by the look on his face that all he wanted was a Fosters. Often described as anti-Semitic (Jew-hating), and he may very well be ... on a bad day he gives the Jews about one percent of the venom and bile that he reserves for gays. The most consistently homophobic major director of the last twenty years. You don't believe me? Just watch Braveheart, for Chrissakes. Speaking of which, The Passion of the Christ would do as well.

Having said that, he really does have a cute ass.

Quotes from Mel Gibson:

And tell the English ... that they may TAKE our LIEEVES ... but thay'll NEVAHR ... get theer HONDS ... AP oor KELTS!!
- Braveheart (Director's Cut)

Umm ... yes, well, it's a matter of fact that my grandfather was homosexual, and so was that teacher in remedial English that kept giving me detention, and Pontius Pilate, and Satan, and all those guys from South Africa who dumped on the niggers, hey, one of my best buddies was black, you know, and all those Orthodox Jews were homosexual too, and so are the Reform movement, and there are a lot of them out by Alice Springs and Coober Pedy, and I think Martin Luther was homosexual too, yeah, and ...,
- confidentially leaked interview

Danny, c-mere, stick my shoulder joint back in the socket, I'm too pooped, just don't, y'know, get too close, man ...,
- Lethal Weapon 2, Director's Cut

I only hate the Jews when I'm drunk.
- confidentially leaked interview

by Fearman January 6, 2008

landlord's holiday

A break, usually involving travel abroad and of indefinite duration, so as to avoid tenant responsibilities, legal action, and so on. A time of leave for analogous purposes or of similar duration.

After taking ten million quid in cash from the public in begging letters, Karl O'Driscoll vanished on a landlord's holiday to his hidey hole in the Seychelles and lived a life of leisure.

by Fearman August 10, 2007