4 definitions by Ezekiel Calhoun

Top Definition
Somebody who believes that the government should control everything, while praying to an aethiest that the Constitution should be used as a dishrag, while spewing off their hypocritical beliefs about the enviornment, and other hot button topics.
Neil: "I am not sure who I should vote for. I believe in the Constitution and the core values of this country along with the Founding Fathers. Does this mean I am a Democrat or a Republican?"

Bob: "You goddamn racist fuckbag. How dare you say that insurgents don't have rights? They have feelings too, douchebag!! Now listen you gun toting, religious fanatical homophobic anti-immigrant pro rich hatin-on-the-poor non progressive piece of shit dick licking asshole cunt rag, all animals are created equal, except for some animals!! You need to die because you don't have the same beliefs as me, you nazi!"

Neil: "Gadzooks. I must be a Democrat"
by Ezekiel Calhoun December 08, 2010
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Someone who is usually married to Aunt Mom, and related to cousin Grandma. Incest is usually cited for this phenomenon.
Kid in School: "Man, little Jimmy looks like a mongloid. He has seven fingers and three toes on each of his flipper feet. I hear his family tree doesn't fork."

Girl in school: "That's not funny. His Aunt Mom and Uncle Dad love him very much."
by Ezekiel Calhoun December 03, 2010
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Usually married to Uncle Dad, and related to cousin Grandpa. Also could be the victim/result of incest. Homemade hooch in the backwoods of the Ozarks are cited for this phenomenon.
Kid in School: "Holy crap Sarah Belle!! Little flipper footed Jimmy thinks his Mother is Marie Osmond! He is seriously messed up"

Girl in School: "Little Jimmy is crazy.. Come to think of it, his dad is named Donnie!! She could very well be Aunt Mom!!"
by Ezekiel Calhoun December 07, 2010
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An acronym for TWO IN THE SHIRT. Used covertly by perverts.
Kid in Church: "Yo father, that nun got some big tits!!!"

Priest: "Yes my child. That milf has TWO IN THE SHIRT"
by Ezekiel Calhoun November 27, 2010
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