jared schmeck

“Jared Schmeck" is the yellow discharge from the top of a penis infected with an STD.

I fucked this skank at a DMB concert and now I have this smelly Jared Schmeck on my dick.

by EverybodyPanic December 27, 2021

door muffin

a young woman who sits behind the desk at the entrance to a workplace, and whose only job is to look pretty.

We just hired a hot new door muffin. How long should I wait before I show her my cock?

by EverybodyPanic July 06, 2009

Heavy sack

Jamaican slang for a man who’s got a big package.

The thing with Jamaican men that every woman like, they say we have the heavy sack.

by EverybodyPanic August 04, 2020

Sorbs

Those rancid lumps of cheese powder you get in dollar-store mac and cheese. Named for actor Kevin Sorbo, who is also rancid and cheesy.

Ugh. No matter how much I stir this cheap mac and cheese, these sorbs won't dissolve.

by EverybodyPanic October 13, 2022

Sex pie

Celebratory dessert eaten after a night of extraordinarily good sex.

After oral and some really hard fucking, we celebrated with sex pie.

by EverybodyPanic October 28, 2020