Eric Kazinsky's definitions

Monsters Theory

Monsters Theory is the now-mainstream belief that very large breasts on young, lean women is the single most attractive look a woman can have, despite it having a relatively limited genetic basis (as studies of female siblings have shown) There is no established explanation for how women with 25-30% body fat and large breasts have their figures but luck seems to play the biggest role, since their looks and their breasts both are not an accurate reflection of their parents. The theory that attractive parents produce attractive children has become eroded due to monsters theory. Monsters theory states that genetics play some role, but far less than expected and otherwise ugly, fat parents with not particularly good genes can unleash bombshells on the world.

Example: Guy 1: Did you see that girl at the gym? Man, those were huge!
Guy 2: Monsters Theory in action. Let the monsters do the talkin.’
Guy 3: You scared bro?

by Eric Kazinsky November 3, 2015

Cough Syrup

If a man is getting deepthroated and he does not let the headgiver know when he is about to cum and, thereby spontaneously combusts a load of semen into the back of her throat so that she gags and sometimes asphyxiates herself, he is said to have "given her the cough syrup" or "a taste of her own medicine"

John was an agog tennis player. After he lost a painful match to a handicapped black guy he went home to his normally fawning wife. She was upset that he hadn't won his match so she wasn't willing to chug his cum conduit. Suddenly he forced her head down and made sure it went all the way down her throat, then he gave her the cough syrup, she was taken in an ambulance to the ER, and she died the next day due to internal bleeding.

by Eric Kazinsky November 23, 2005

Death Metal

Death metal is a subgenre of heavy metal generally involving low tuned guitars played with tremolo picking and many solos, double kick or blast beat drumming techniques, minor keys or atonality, and rapid time signature changes, chromatic chord progressions, and intricate song-writing. Death metal is the most underrated and underappreciated genre in music, with many of the most famous bands full of world class musicians that taught at the most prestigious music schools in the world. The best aspects of every genre of music (new wave of British heavy metal, classical musical, thrash metal, grindcore, black metal and jazz) can be found in death metal albums articulated in a more intelligent and enjoyable manner than in the aforementioned genres. Examples are Atheist's take on jazz, Arghoslent's NWOBHM riffs, Necrophagist's Beethoven-influenced riffs, and Appalling Spawn's grindcore elements. Death metal produces the most thought-provoking and intelligent lyrics of any genre as referenced below.

Guy 1: Why do you think death metal appeals almost exclusively to very intelligent people?
Guy 2: As illuminated in the documentary The Boy With the Incredible Brain, many very high IQ people think in terms of shapes and music that forms shapes. It is not hard to understand why the ebb and flow of death metal riffs appeal almost exclusively to very intelligent people who sense and recognize the shape and contours of the very intricate and highly educated music that is death metal.

Guy 1: What are some death metal songs which shed light not only on natural aspects of the human condition, but more generally on important societal problems directly connected to people's thinking?
Guy 2: Enthralled in Essence (Atheist), Slaughter of Innocence, Demise of the Clone (Suffocation), Mirrors of Reason (Monstrosity), Omnipresent Perception (Beyond Creation), Dethrone the Hypocrites (Anata), Closeminded Failure (Solstice), The Truth About Lies (Krabathor), Lack of Comprehension (Death), Scavenger of Human Sorrow (Death), The Sadistic Motives Behind Bereavement Letters (Arsis) and Shallow Disbelief (Experiment Fear) all have very intelligent messages meeting your requirements.

by Eric Kazinsky February 12, 2015

DTD

DTD stands for Down-to-Date, and is essentially the opposite of women who are Down-To-Fuck. With women who are down to fuck, very direct moves usually work without any resistance, and controversial statements and claims made by men are usually accepted by the woman who is eager to get stabbed up by the meat spear. Most men make the mistake of assuming their skills are top notch with women for succeeding with low resistance DTF girls, then suddenly fail with all of the DTD women. With women who are Down-to-Date, they are looking for an emotional connection first and foremost, rather than just a sexual one. In almost all cases, the best strategy is moving slowly and allowing a woman to fall in love with a man between the first and second dates or between the second and third dates in her own mind.

Guy 1: Dude, I told that girl on the date last night about my previous relationships and she got all weirded out. What the fuck man?
Guy 2: You've got it all wrong. She was DTD! Do not bring up relationships because she doesn't want to be compared to other women and she didn't want to imagine you being with other broads. If she was DTF she might be impressed by your sexual experience and prowess, but keep the topics light and fun with DTD damsels.

by Eric Kazinsky February 5, 2016

Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory

Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory is the theory that beta males just let their fellow betas get beaten up by other betas and it trickles downwards into a society of 99% beta males. When the trickling occurs, there is no way to stop it. Whereas when an upward alpha male surge occurs, feminists are quick to jump in and shut down the movement. The Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory explains the steady dropping of testosterone rates and increasing feminine male behavior in society.

Guy 1: Did you see that black thug beat up the white guy working at Applebee's while all of the whiteys stood around looking on?
Guy 2: That's what I call the Trickle Down Beta Impact Theory!

by Eric Kazinsky May 11, 2016

9-Able

A 9-Able man is a man capable of maintaining long-term relationships with 9/10 women in attractiveness. Top-tier women in their peak years (18-22) most often choose to settle down with 30-35 year old average guys who a) own property b) compliment her a lot and make her feel good c) clearly won't ever have any better option than her d) don't challenge her or make her feel bad and e) is much older than her. 9-10 level women are not very looks-oriented with men, and many of them have already "tasted" the most attractive men and want superior qualities so they usually settle for the beta described above. This is frustrating news for the "alpha males get all the pussy" crowd, but should actually be good news for them: there's no reason to fear these niggardly 30-something betas standing in the way of the hotties.

Guy 1: What’s up with that very average 32-year-old guy with the 9/10 smokin’ hot bwoad with the sweater yams bustin’ out of her cardigan?
Guy 2: Don’t sweat it. That beta is totally 9-Able!

Guy 1: Good point! Don’t forget that alpha males make up less than 5% of the male population, so such a cutey will almost always date betas if only due to the alpha scarcity.

by Eric Kazinsky October 19, 2015

White Person Lottery

White Person Lottery (WPL) is a term used to describe the immense luck a (white) person has when they obtain a large amount of money or property that they never could have earned on their own. In most cases this is through inheritance, but it can also occur through marriage. The term has a very natural sound to it and is used regularly on reddit and other popular internet blogs to describe generally very ungrateful people who are depressed for no obvious reason despite being incredibly lucky to be where they are in life. The natural offshoots of this term are MPL (Mexican Person Lottery), APL (Asian Person Lottery) and BPL (Black Person Lottery).

Guy 1: Why do you think she behaves like that all the time?
Guy 2: Classic example of a White Person Lottery winner. People who have won it have a hard time imagining that others have not won it too.

Guy 1: I feel so lucky to be an American!
Guy 2: You would feel even luckier being a White Person Lottery winner from Iceland with free university and a warm, million dollar house to relax in.

by Eric Kazinsky February 2, 2015