Ephemily's definitions

heirloom cock

The names and phone numbers that get passed along now that your friend is seeing someone exclusively.

Now that Jason and Cindy are exclusive, she said she'd pass along some of her Heirloom Cock to us. Dibs on the guy with all the tattoos.

by Ephemily May 19, 2012

Whoricane

A frenzied sex act or romp.

This is why I don't drink tequila. I woke up this morning, and my entire apartment looked like it was hit by an F5 whoricane. There was a trail of clothing starting with my left shoe in the driveway, and ending with my shredded panties on at the foot of the bed.

by Ephemily May 19, 2012

Old Bae Seasoning

A phrase for setting up the description your older lover's mood.

The Old Bae Seasoning at my house has been rather salty recently. Her sister's visit was supposed to be for just a weekend, and here it's Wednesday. They're driving each other crazy!

by Ephemily October 11, 2017

Pit Tits

Fat or flesh that can't be classified as back fat or actual breast tissue that hangs under the arms. They are the counterpart to Bingo Wings, the excess fat or sagging skin

on the upper arms. When not compressed by the bra of a band or other "foundation garment", excessive pit tits can prevent the owner from drawing their arms to their ides, giving them a sumo wrestler stance.

I wish it were possible to moosh my pit tits into the cups of my bra. Maybe then, I wouldn't need a wonderbra just to look proportionate.

by Ephemily January 10, 2013

Penrose Poppet

The embodiment of qualities thought impossible to exist simultaneously in a single example of womanhood. An impossible figure. Believed to be mathematically impossible. Synonyms: Unicorn, Real Geek Girl, Waifu. Related to Escher Staircase, Blivet.

James has been dating a Penrose Poppet for about a month now and he's going to be severely disappointed when he discovers she's an actual human being and not a mythical creature after all.

by Ephemily October 10, 2017