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Emerson Crossjostle's definitions

dildoridoo

Originally used in Australia as a wooden sex assistant prior to its use as a musical instrument after the accidental discovery that you could get sounds to come out of it.
Once you're finished letting the dildoridoo play you, transmute it into a didgeridoo, so you can play it, too.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013
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mashed couch potatoes

Oftentimes what you'll find left behind after a tornado and a trailer park merge.
It's a simple recipe. Only 2 ingredients are needed to make mashed couch potatoes: a tornado and a trailer park

You don't even need to add the tornado, though.
Just let the trailer park attract it.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013
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remote viewing

Staring at the remote control wondering why the TV won't turn on.
I spent the last ten minutes remote viewing and missed the start of my favorite show.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013
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Hell is for Mildred

what your grandma believed when she died because that's what you told her
I told grandma, "Hell is for Mildred," because that's what I thought Pat Benatar said. By the time I realized it was a song about children, my poor granny Mildred was dead.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013
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Seed Library

The section in some public libraries where you can use your library card to check out heirloom (local) seeds, with the implied promise that if your gardening efforts are successful, you'll replace the seeds you 'borrowed' from the Seed Library by agreeing to give them some of the seeds that your new plants produced.
My public library now has a Seed Library inside which lets me check out packets of local seeds. It's made it super easy for me to grow salad greens and eat healthy for free.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013
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Bunnypants

A once-popular nickname for a certain ex-president, based on a photoshopped picture of him wearing a bunny outfit instead of his Mission Accomplished flight suit.
When the teacher asked the child who was president before Barack Obama, she answered, "Bunnypants," because that's what her parents had always called him.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013
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he'll

If there really is a he'll, auto-correct will be nearby.
by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013
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