Asshole Fractal

The coordinated team effort by all the inanimate objects around you to completely and totally fuck with a person for no apparent reason other than their own amusement.

I believe it was Mandelbrot who forgot to warn us of the Africanized bee-swarming, black cloud-ish shit storm where inanimate objects all collude to fuck with us when they're bored. It's called the asshole fractal.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 09, 2013

Congressional confessional

when our elected officials, in a rare moment of clarity, secretly admit they're incompetent

Behind VOID tramp-stamped foreheads residing inside dumb asses, vacuums become self-aware.

“We suck at this.” ~Congressional confessional

by Emerson Crossjostle March 12, 2013

Bunnypants

A once-popular nickname for a certain ex-president, based on a photoshopped picture of him wearing a bunny outfit instead of his Mission Accomplished flight suit.

When the teacher asked the child who was president before Barack Obama, she answered, "Bunnypants," because that's what her parents had always called him.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013

Love Scopes

astrology horoscopes that specifically focus on the relationship compatibility between people based on their Zodiac signs

Thanks to social media, I can read my love scopes every day instead of having to wait for the new local weekly to come out.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 19, 2013

Seed Library

The section in some public libraries where you can use your library card to check out heirloom (local) seeds, with the implied promise that if your gardening efforts are successful, you'll replace the seeds you 'borrowed' from the Seed Library by agreeing to give them some of the seeds that your new plants produced.

My public library now has a Seed Library inside which lets me check out packets of local seeds. It's made it super easy for me to grow salad greens and eat healthy for free.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013

urbdict induct

newly submitted words and terms are officially awarded this as soon as the great Urban Dictionary editors grant them their approval

When a term is accepted by UD editors (who are so sexy) for inclusion in Urban Dictionary, it is said to have received an 'urbdict induct'.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 17, 2013

off the twitter

taking a Twitter vacation

I've been off the twitter lately. Kinda taking a break from social media for awhile.

by Emerson Crossjostle May 13, 2015