Emerson Crossjostle's definitions

This Poo Shall Pass

positive affirmation used to cure constipation

Went to New Age doctor for cure to my ‘having trouble pooping’ problem. Cost: $100 bucks.

Suggested I say affirmation.

THIS POO SHALL PASS

by Emerson Crossjostle March 12, 2013

Bunnypants

A once-popular nickname for a certain ex-president, based on a photoshopped picture of him wearing a bunny outfit instead of his Mission Accomplished flight suit.

When the teacher asked the child who was president before Barack Obama, she answered, "Bunnypants," because that's what her parents had always called him.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013

Asshole Fractal

The coordinated team effort by all the inanimate objects around you to completely and totally fuck with a person for no apparent reason other than their own amusement.

I believe it was Mandelbrot who forgot to warn us of the Africanized bee-swarming, black cloud-ish shit storm where inanimate objects all collude to fuck with us when they're bored. It's called the asshole fractal.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

helmet helmet

what a helmet wears for protection

If I was a helmet, I'd wear a helmet helmet, too.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

turduvadove

A white pigeon (dove) poops on an optimistic person of faith's head to indicate that his/her prayer/request was heard, reviewed, and has been emphatically denied.

Turduvadove. ..Word from above.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

Fucking Obama

blaming President Obama for everything; a internet phrase added to the end of complaints about pretty much anything

I can't believe it's raining. Fucking Obama.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013

vagnostic

One who has a solid trust in vagina despite having somewhat vague beliefs.

The vagnostic was a deep believer in vagina, although he/she knew not of just quite what.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013