El Conquistador's definitions
by El Conquistador July 5, 2017
Get the star spangled stoma mug.Wrecking your boyfriend’s shit socket with your unusually small hands after painting yourself orange and donning a cheap blonde wig.
Ryan wanted to do something special for Robbie’s birthday. They had already tried most other deviant sexual variations and were, quite frankly, bored with the normal pee pee touching and butt stuff. Ryan decided to combine two things that Robbie loves most...Trump and manual anal stimulation. Robbie was well experienced butt had never been Ass Trumped before. He screamed “best birthday ever!”
by El Conquistador December 19, 2019
Get the ass trumped mug.No more expensive teeth whitening treatments since we discovered the tooth nut. Come on babe, show us your pearly whites!
by El Conquistador May 15, 2019
Get the tooth nut mug.A large load of jizm delivered to the back of ones throat, covering the uvula and tonsils in warm, thick, well churned sperm milk. Not to be confused with the low fat version, I Can’t Believe it’s not Tonsil Butter.
Stuck at work late at night, Cody and Ryan needed a quick snack. All they had in the fridge, of course, was some cheap canned biscuits and eleven jars of grape jelly. Cody started to cry as his hunger pains told him that would not be enough to satisfy him. Ryan wanted to help his friend, so he offered to whip up a fresh batch of tonsil butter for Cody. He gladly accepted Ryan’s generous offering of tonsil butter with enthusiasm. Cody was so moved he was speechless. With a tear in his eye and a lump in his throat, he gave Ryan a big bear hug. Of course Ryan, always the giver, didn’t know who was more satisfied; Cody for the receiving or himself the giving.
by El Conquistador February 20, 2020
Get the tonsil butter mug.An elderly woman with no teeth giving a blow job. Possibly the closest to heaven any living man is likely to get.
by El conquistador January 17, 2014
Get the dick smucker mug.by El Conquistador March 18, 2017
Get the Hawaiian milkshake mug.The act of jerking an uncircumcised cock to completion, but holding the load in the foreskin by pinching it shut. Then blowing up the foreskin like a balloon. When quickly released, the resulting explosion delivers the mother of all facials.
Justin and his boyfriend were having a wonderful evening of watching Ryan Gosling movies and licking popcorn butter off each other’s nipples, when things started to get a little frisky. They started with the usual dick slapping, then moved on to a rousing game of “will it fit”. ( Spoiler alert, it always does). Justin finally had an idea to try something new he had heard about in his gay pride chat group. After some cajoling, his boyfriend was definitely down to clown.
Thirty-four minutes later, Justin awoke in the back of the white county ambulance, ears ringing, eyes stuck shut like a new born kitten. Justin asks, “wha-what happened?” A wise grey bearded paramedic reaches to put a hand his shoulder but then recoils, because…yuck. He informs Justin, “Son, you took a Norris City Hand Grenade straight to the face. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Justin is making progress managing his PTSD (post traumatic sperm disorder). But still to this day, while watching gay porn, if he sees an uncircumcised dick, he curls up in his fetal position ands yells “ incoming!”
Thirty-four minutes later, Justin awoke in the back of the white county ambulance, ears ringing, eyes stuck shut like a new born kitten. Justin asks, “wha-what happened?” A wise grey bearded paramedic reaches to put a hand his shoulder but then recoils, because…yuck. He informs Justin, “Son, you took a Norris City Hand Grenade straight to the face. You’re lucky to be alive.”
Justin is making progress managing his PTSD (post traumatic sperm disorder). But still to this day, while watching gay porn, if he sees an uncircumcised dick, he curls up in his fetal position ands yells “ incoming!”
by El Conquistador January 11, 2025
Get the Norris City Hand Grenade mug.