Definitions by Eaton Holgoode

Persian Rash

Rug burns on the feet, legs, knees arms or face from vigorous sex on the carpet.

I was hitting it so good from behind with her ass up and face down in the shag she wound up with the Persian rash on the left side of her face.

My knees are covered in Persian rash after taking it doggy last night.

What is wrong with your knees and elbows? Looks like you had a skateboard accident. Naaaahhh I’m good. Just the Persian rash.

Persian Rash by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019

Gentleman’s Library 

A dude’s collection of porn including videos, pictures and erotica used for masturbation.

I spent the entire day perusing the collections of the gentleman’s library and well.....my balls are aching and drained.

Gentleman’s Library by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019

Executive Stance 

A common stance taken at the men’s room urinal or toilet. The executive is hallmarked by an unusually wide stance (but not as wide as a Larry Craig), a slight lean forward towards the back wall supported by one arm/hand extended above the head and against the wall and one arm/hand holding and aiming the schlong as urine is released.

The executive is a sign of prowess and accomplishment. Whereas the common stance is simply standing with both hands down on the schlong.

I quickly assumed the executive stance to cut loose with the beer I just drank.

The restroom was full of dudes taking and executive stance.

Executive Stance by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019

Gentleman’s Release 

The release of loud flatulence while urinating.

The old guy at the urinal had no qualms with a gentleman’s release. It was loud and repugnant.

I did a gentleman’s release earlier and I’m thinking now it may have been a little wet.

Gentleman’s Release by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019

Yeti Fur 

Lavishly wooly, bushy, 1970’s style pussy hair.

Yo ho! Trim dat yeti fur. Damn!

Her yeti fur was sticking out all sides of her granny panties.

An Eskimo could make a coat out of that yeti fur you are sporting.

Yeti Fur by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019

Hanging Pickle 

When your cock unknowingly sneaks out the side of your boxers while your lounging around watching Netflix.

Mom: Son you need to adjust
Son: What? Leave me alone I’m watching flix.

Mom: You got a hanging pickle.

Son: Shit!

Hanging Pickle by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019

Terddler 

A toddler that acts and behaves like a real terd.

Your son is a real terddler. He won’t sit still and he smeared his feces on my new wallpaper earlier.

Terddler by Eaton Holgoode January 15, 2019