Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Housewife's Napkin

A small cloth or beverage napkin kept in the nightstand of an under sexed housewife. The Housewife's Napkin is used to wipe up semen after sexual activity. The Housewife's Napkin generally lasts for many months before needing to be laundered or disposed due to extremely infrequent sexual activity.

Mary Anne was a sex starved housewife. Her husband's lack of sexual performance and constant flaccid state rendered her Housewife's Napkin in clean and folded condition in her nightstand and rarely seeing any use.

by Eaton Holgoode April 17, 2014

Gentleman’s Wash

When a male performs an impromptu washing of his genitals in anticipation of receiving unexpected oral sex.

Usually occurs in a restroom at a bar, restaurant or gas station and involves using a wet paper towel.

Since I hadn’t showered in two days and Rachel was gonna slob my knob, I ran to the restroom for a quick gentleman’s wash.

by Eaton Holgoode June 12, 2018

Knob and Knuckle

A sexual act performed by a male/female couple and a third which can be male or female. The couple prepare for sex in the doggie styleposition. The third party then cups the male's balls in the palm of their hand and extends their middle finger out and along and against the bottom of the male's cock. The male then proceeds to enter the vagina filling her with both his cock and finger of their partner at the same time. Thus giving her a satisfying knob and knuckle.

Joey and Sasha had a threeway with their firend Lou. She was most satisfied when Lou and Joey gave her a Knob and Knuckle.

by Eaton Holgoode July 3, 2009

Ham Juices

The copious amounts of ass crack sweat that drips, settles and moistens the gusset of one's panties or underwear. Ham Juices leave a wet mark running from the taint upwards to the waistband. Ham Juices are caused by vigorous exercise or routine activity in high heat and humid climates.

Frank: Hi Carl. How was your work out today?
Carl: It was great. Got a good pump. Really had the Ham Juices today though.
Frank: Hope you showered up Brahhhhhh!

Carl: That gusset was dripping wet like a $2.00 crack whore on a Friday after payday.
Frank: Nasty Brohhhhhhh!

by Eaton Holgoode March 12, 2015

Dog Beatin’

Another name for male masturbation. Jerking off. Wanking. Beating off. Stroking. Rubbing one out.

My roomie is in his room dog beatin’.

I like to do a little dog beatin’ when I take a shit.

I like to look at lady boy porn while I’m dog beatin’.

It was along night of dog beatin’. My cock is sore.

by Eaton Holgoode February 16, 2018

Tender Memories

Spending an entire day, or several days, in personal reflection and thought to recall the actions that took place during a hard night of partying that rendered you waking up naked with a greased ass hole and a sphincter that's sore and tender to the touch.

After a big party at his frat house, Carl woke up the next morning with some seriously Tender Memories. He spent several days wondering what happened and was only reminded of his tender bung each time he took a shit.

by Eaton Holgoode April 24, 2015

Gum Trickin’

Paying a toothless whore prostitute for a sloppy, wet gummy blow job. The old hot gummy.

I’m gum trickin’ as soon as we leave the bar tonight.

by Eaton Holgoode January 31, 2018