Eaton Holgoode's definitions

Jergens Jerk

Giving yourself a hearty wank using your grandma's Jergens hand lotion for lube.

Granny B never understood why her Jergens bottle went half empty when her grandson spent the weekend. His hands were always greasy from his Jergens Jerks.

by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2017

Beef n’ Chedder

A dude with a big penis and lots of money.

She likes the Beef n’ Chedder types braaaaaaahhhh. No need to try with your bank account and small appendage.

by Eaton Holgoode January 25, 2018

Pork Bait

A slutty female that's an easy piece of ass. Requires little effort to achieve a panty drop.

Have you met the new sales rep? Her numbers should sky rocket. She's pork bait.

by Eaton Holgoode July 27, 2016

Wood Varnish

A shiny cock and ball sack after receiving an exceptionally wet and slobbery blow job. Usually requires wipe up with doddle rag, sock or towel.

Roger's girlfriend gives the wettest, sloppiest head. It always leaves him dripping with Wood Varnish.

by Eaton Holgoode May 19, 2015

Corn Countdown

Purposely eating one or more servings of corn to time and count your digestive process. The countdown from consumption to evacuation and spotting said corn in one’s shit.

I’ve been having some bowel issues lately. My doctor recommended a corn countdown before ordering any tests.

by Eaton Holgoode April 3, 2018

Prune the Shrub

To trim and tidy up one’s wooly haired pubic region.

I got a date tonight. I better prune the shrub before I go just in case I get lucky.

by Eaton Holgoode December 13, 2018

Uncled

When you have been touched, fondled, fingered or coitaled by your uncle.

Hun, Aunt Rachel called and wants to know if you want to spend the weekend with cousin Tommy. No thanks mom. I get uncled every time I go there. I was really sore the last time. Ok. I’ll tell her maybe.

Pretty sure I got uncled last night about midnight. The door opened and then a pillow over my face and some quick moving hands.

by Eaton Holgoode June 15, 2018