12 definitions by DutchCappedCrusader

Lying for the Lord, is similar to lying for Jesus, but this phrase is particularly associated with the Mormon church (The church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints).

Lying for the Lord is when a Member of the Mormon church gives information which they know is false - or fails to admit to something which they know is true - to make their church seem better, or less corrupt (or less weird) than it really is

The Mormon tradition of lying for, or about, their religion goes back to the founder, Joseph Smith

Joseph Smith, in "Address of the Prophet—His Testimony Against the Dissenters at Nauvoo", delivered Sunday, May 26, 1844, Joseph Smith stated:

"What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago."

as the Mormon's own genealogical files will reveal, at this time Joseph Smith had many polygamous "wives"

this is not the first example of the Mormon church lying for the lord - it is simply the best known of many lies Propagated by the Mormon church, continuing throughout the whole history of the Mormon church.

Currently the Mormon church employes semi-official 'apologists' to try and defend themselves against the many sources which reveal the historical lies of the Church - semi official so the church can maintain 'plausible deniability'
"the Mormon religion is in no way related to masonry. It's just a religion, just like any other religion. (It's not a cult. I would know. I am Mormon.)"

"You know that's not true, and I think you're trying to make your church look better by Lying for the Lord"
by DutchCappedCrusader June 15, 2014
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A nickname for Mormon underwear. this nickname is disliked by Mormons

Mormons who have been through the masonic 'Mormon endowment ceremony' wear special underwear which they call 'G's' or 'Garments'. every non-Mormon refers to them as 'magic underwear'.

they are an ugly 2 piece set - like long johns and a t shirt - which are white, with white embroidered masonic symbols on the breast and 1 knee. The symbols represent a masonic square (L), a compass(^) and a level (-).

Women wear bra and tights OVER the top of their magic underwear

despite protestations from Mormons about the nickname for their underwear, every Mormon will have heard stories from fellow Mormons about how their garments have protected them from all sorts of harm - fire, gunshots, animal bites, accidental cuts, etc

This is the reason they are referred to as 'Magic'.

basically, Mormons are wiling to ascribe magical status to their underwear, but get offended if anyone refers to them as such
Drying off after her shower, Ann quickly donned her magic underwear before putting on her black lacy bra over the top
by DutchCappedCrusader August 26, 2012
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Magic underwear (mormon garments) are a two piece set of underwear, similar to a t-shirt and short long johns.
They are usually white and the magic comes from masonic symbols embroidered onto the chest, navel and knee area.

The symbols all come from Freemasonry, and represent a masonic set square, masonic compasses and masonic level.

Mormonism is a deeply patriarchal, misogynistic religion and this is well demonstrated by the female magic underwear - women are expected to wear a bra OVER THE TOP of their magic underwear. Some women will wear a sexy, lacy, coloured bra over the top of their passion-killing white garments.

Mormons like to downplay the 'magic' nature of their underwear and talk about "reminders of sacred ordinances", etc... However, every Mormon will have heard fellow mormons talk in hushed tones about how their underwear has saved them from fire, cuts, gunshot wounds and animal bites. This is why everyone refers to them as magic. and it is plainly ridiculous for mormons to deny the magical apsect
Mormon General Authority, Paul H Dunn often told how his magic underwear (mormon garments) protected his body from a hail of machine gun bullets in WW2
Ann's husband lustily watched as she stripped off. But, as she got down to her passion killer magic underwear (mormon garments), he turned over and exclaimed "I dont think we'll bother tonight"
by DutchCappedCrusader March 31, 2014
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The most poorly kept secret from the mormon secret temple ceremonies (derived from masonic ceremonies)

magic underwear (mormon garments) are a two piece set - like a T shirt and long shorts

This current design is the garment of choice for most mormons. Previous styles have had full length legs, collars, cuffs and some were one-piece (a 19th century onesie).

Obviously designed by a man in a patriarchal society, Women are expected to wear a Bra over the top of their mormon t-shirt.

There is nothing apparently special about the garments. they are almost always white, but the magic comes from masonic symbols embroidered onto them.
The symbols represent a Masonic Square (⅃) a masonic pair of drawing compasses (V) and a masonic level (-)

Despite protestations from mormons that the garments are not really 'magic', every mormon will have heard testimonies and stories from other cult members about how their garments have saved them from fire, cuts, animal bites and even gunshot wounds

for example Paul H Dunn - a mormon general authority (a high Mucky Muck) told how, in WW2, a hail of bullets ripped off all his clothes, but left his body and garments untouched..... Of course, Dunn's stories are no longer quoted by cult members since his stories about WW2 were exposed as complete lies in a national newspaper...
Ann dried off after her shower and quickly donned her magic underwear (mormon garments), before putting her black lacy bra over the top
by DutchCappedCrusader March 23, 2014
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A nickname for a Member of any one of the Mormon sects LDS, FLDS or RLDS.

The name comes from the belief that God lives on a heavenly Body (a planet... or star!) called Kolob.

The reference is from Joseph Smith Junior's writings called 'The Book Of Abraham, which is part of the Mormon canon of scripture

The modern Mormon church doesn't mention Kolob much as the whole thing is a source of embarrassment, hence the nickname Kolobian is quite hurtful to mainstream mormons
You dont want to go to Salt Lake City, it's full of kolobians
by DutchCappedCrusader October 28, 2012
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