A funeral held for dead flowers. Usually in a flowerbed side service honoring the sweetness and beauty of the dead flowers. Usually held after cutting or throwing away the dead flowers. Is also often held in a church. The only known Flower Funeral happened on November 18, 2011 when Ed Crankshaft, his daughter Pam Murdoch, and her husband Jeff were attending the funeral of a close friend. A Flower Funeral is not sad. In fact, it is very calming. So, if you want beautiful flowers for all time, hold a Flower Funeral for the ones you lost. Its a sweet thing to do.
Ed: Oh no, all my flower died. How am I going to remember them?
Pam: Why not have a Flower Funeral for them? We could crush them up and bury them.
Jeff: Sure! Lets go to Camp Swampy. I bet Stainy Stainglass would officiate.
Ed: Sure, a Flower Funeral would be nice because I love my garden! Sweet.
Stainy: Yes, I'll help! (he starts praying over the flowers) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in memory of these beautiful flowers. May they always live in Heaven in beauty. (he makes the cross sign)
Ed: (bursts out crying) Poor flowers. I don't know what to do.
Stainy: Easy, I know you're stressed. But I got the Mary Mud right here. (he starts massaging Ed with the Mary Mud) Remember how good that felt? Its a nice way to end a Flower Funeral.
Jeff: (jumping up and down crying) I need some of that, too. Can I have some?
Stainy: Sure! This is the most important part of a Flower Funeral. You need flowers to stop stressing over flowers. Remember, flowers have power!
Pam: Sure. Its easy. Just remember its a trial but Flower Funerals make you smile! (she kisses Stainy and he rubs her with the Mary Mud)
Pam: Why not have a Flower Funeral for them? We could crush them up and bury them.
Jeff: Sure! Lets go to Camp Swampy. I bet Stainy Stainglass would officiate.
Ed: Sure, a Flower Funeral would be nice because I love my garden! Sweet.
Stainy: Yes, I'll help! (he starts praying over the flowers) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in memory of these beautiful flowers. May they always live in Heaven in beauty. (he makes the cross sign)
Ed: (bursts out crying) Poor flowers. I don't know what to do.
Stainy: Easy, I know you're stressed. But I got the Mary Mud right here. (he starts massaging Ed with the Mary Mud) Remember how good that felt? Its a nice way to end a Flower Funeral.
Jeff: (jumping up and down crying) I need some of that, too. Can I have some?
Stainy: Sure! This is the most important part of a Flower Funeral. You need flowers to stop stressing over flowers. Remember, flowers have power!
Pam: Sure. Its easy. Just remember its a trial but Flower Funerals make you smile! (she kisses Stainy and he rubs her with the Mary Mud)
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 23, 2011
Get the Flower Funeralmug. An exercise done by Ralph Drabble after working in the yard. It is often accompanied by coaching his body parts as if he were actually talking to them. A wonderful way work off arthritis.
Ralph: Boy, I'm stiff. I've gotta do my Drabble Stand.
Ed: What's a Drabble Stand? Is that some sort of arthritis exercise?
Ralph: Yup, works great. Guaranteed relief.
Ed: Show me how, I've never tried it.
Ralph: (demonstrating) Come on, knee, you can do it!
Ed: What's a Drabble Stand? Is that some sort of arthritis exercise?
Ralph: Yup, works great. Guaranteed relief.
Ed: Show me how, I've never tried it.
Ralph: (demonstrating) Come on, knee, you can do it!
by Dusty's Baby Powder December 14, 2010
Get the Drabble Standmug. A workout done inside a chapel by Catholic priests. This was first done by SFC. Fr. Roger Stainglass when he's preaching a sermon. It mostly consists of three exercises called "God Squats", "Lord Lunges", and "Jehovah Jacks". Usually they are done in three or four rounds in quick succession. A circuit of this always ends by kneeling on the prayer bench and saying one Hail Mary before the next circuit begins. Stainy does this in the mornings before the early service. So if you want a religious workout that will really perk you, try a Communion Circuit - it can't hurt you! Stainy Stainglass said so!
Stainy: Hey Bryant, you feel like some exercise? Let's do our Communion Circuit. I need some stretches.
Bryant: Sure! Gotta have those warm up exercises now. I love these!
Stainy: Okay! First one, lets do some God Squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) Easy. Now hold it too long. Just stand there until it starts to burn.
Bryant: Wow! Good one. What's next?
Stainy: Next up is the Lord Lunge. You know how we priests kneel on one knee? You do that and then you quickly stand up again. That's the second part of a Communion Circuit. (he does a Lord Lunge to show Bryant)
Bryant: What's the third part?
Stainy: The Jehovah Jack. You jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. Then you jump down and pray a Hail Mary. And then the circuit starts all over again. Great workout, huh?
Bryant: Yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?
Stainy: Sure it is. The Saintly Stretches. Here, hold my hand. How, stretch all the way up into the sky. There sweetie. That's it. Communion Circuits rock, don't they?
Bryant: They sure do! They wake you up. I love doing these. They're better than Knee Mail!
Bryant: Sure! Gotta have those warm up exercises now. I love these!
Stainy: Okay! First one, lets do some God Squats. (he stands in front of the prayer bench and squats down) Easy. Now hold it too long. Just stand there until it starts to burn.
Bryant: Wow! Good one. What's next?
Stainy: Next up is the Lord Lunge. You know how we priests kneel on one knee? You do that and then you quickly stand up again. That's the second part of a Communion Circuit. (he does a Lord Lunge to show Bryant)
Bryant: What's the third part?
Stainy: The Jehovah Jack. You jump up on top of the prayer bench and you do a couple of jumping jacks. Then you jump down and pray a Hail Mary. And then the circuit starts all over again. Great workout, huh?
Bryant: Yes, but after you do it is there a stretch that you do?
Stainy: Sure it is. The Saintly Stretches. Here, hold my hand. How, stretch all the way up into the sky. There sweetie. That's it. Communion Circuits rock, don't they?
Bryant: They sure do! They wake you up. I love doing these. They're better than Knee Mail!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 23, 2011
Get the Communion Circuitmug. A granpa who is as big as a grizzly bear or some other big animal. Often used grankids of former lumberjacks. Especially between Nicholas Riker and Ben Cranston.
Nick: This is kinda crazy. You're like a big grizzly bear!
Ben: You're right. After all, I am your Grizzly Granpa!
Nick: Am I a grizzly bear cub?
Ben: You sure are!
Ben: You're right. After all, I am your Grizzly Granpa!
Nick: Am I a grizzly bear cub?
Ben: You sure are!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 7, 2010
Get the Grizzly Granpamug. A baryonyx-like dinosaur which has Ed Crankshaft's head is almost always seen in a Toledo Mudhens uniform: cleat sneakers, red cap, and all. Often works as a coach or teacher of younger dinosaurs. Kid dinosaurs look up to the Edonyx almost as if he were their grandad. When you see him don't run away because a former dinoball player is coming your way!
Edonyx: Hello, class. I'll be your dinosaur school teacher this year. I'm the Edonyx, and I eat Cream of Crankshaft.
Nelsonasaurus: Well, I'm the Nelsonasaurus, and this here is my grandma, the Opalsaurus Rex. What are we going to learn today, Mr. Edonyx?
Edonyx: I'm going to teach you how to build a bonfire. My friend, Mr. Keesterman, was kind enough to lend us some of his mailbox posts. Now, all we do is pack ferns and dry brush all around the wood or anything else that will burn. You make it high enough so that the flames will reach high into the air. Its easy to build a bonfire! I bet all the other dinosaur grandparents will like it. I brought some marshmellows for us to eat later.
Nelsonasaurus: Sweet! Would you play dinoball with us later?
Edonyx: Sure, I used to play dinoball for the Toledo Troodons. Sweet! Wounding teeth, heavy claws - a ball could never pass our jaws.
Nelsonasaurus: Good one! I'm really glad this is dinosaur school. I love it!
Edonyx: I knew you would. Hey, lets go get some warm up stretches going. This bonfire must have tuckered you out. If you're gonna play dinoball you're going to need limber claws.
O-Rex: Ok, sweeties. I'll see you on the field. I'll bring that cocoa butter and honey lotion you both like. You don't want dry scales!
Edonyx: Nice! This is going to be sweet! The heavy claw and the wounding tooth - we're Toledo Troodons and that's the truth!!!
Nelsonasaurus: Well, I'm the Nelsonasaurus, and this here is my grandma, the Opalsaurus Rex. What are we going to learn today, Mr. Edonyx?
Edonyx: I'm going to teach you how to build a bonfire. My friend, Mr. Keesterman, was kind enough to lend us some of his mailbox posts. Now, all we do is pack ferns and dry brush all around the wood or anything else that will burn. You make it high enough so that the flames will reach high into the air. Its easy to build a bonfire! I bet all the other dinosaur grandparents will like it. I brought some marshmellows for us to eat later.
Nelsonasaurus: Sweet! Would you play dinoball with us later?
Edonyx: Sure, I used to play dinoball for the Toledo Troodons. Sweet! Wounding teeth, heavy claws - a ball could never pass our jaws.
Nelsonasaurus: Good one! I'm really glad this is dinosaur school. I love it!
Edonyx: I knew you would. Hey, lets go get some warm up stretches going. This bonfire must have tuckered you out. If you're gonna play dinoball you're going to need limber claws.
O-Rex: Ok, sweeties. I'll see you on the field. I'll bring that cocoa butter and honey lotion you both like. You don't want dry scales!
Edonyx: Nice! This is going to be sweet! The heavy claw and the wounding tooth - we're Toledo Troodons and that's the truth!!!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 22, 2011
Get the Edonyxmug. A rough intense foot massage mostly given by Opal Crankshaft. Mostly given in a bucket of water with cocoa butter and honey lotion added to it. Opal often does this to her ex-husband, Earl, when he won't play footsie with her.
Opal: Hey Earl, you want a tootsie tickler?
Earl: What do you mean? When we used to play footsie?
Opal: Sure. Remember that strip where we tried to play footsie but you didn't want to?
Earl: Yeah, you really took it to me then.
Ann: Oh, massaging the ashi I see.
Opal: Hey, do you want one too?
Ann: Hai!
Earl: What do you mean? When we used to play footsie?
Opal: Sure. Remember that strip where we tried to play footsie but you didn't want to?
Earl: Yeah, you really took it to me then.
Ann: Oh, massaging the ashi I see.
Opal: Hey, do you want one too?
Ann: Hai!
by Dusty's Baby Powder November 13, 2010
Get the Tootsie Ticklermug. A workout program done by Opal Crankshaft and Emily Hanson. When they do this you can often find them sitting and talking to each other. Its not uncommon Emily responding with something witty to something Opal says. Its a great conversation piece as well as a workout.
Opal: What am I gonna get Earl for Christmas next year?
Emily: An Opalrobics DVD?
Opal: (shocked) What in the world would he want with that? Emily Hanson what are you talking about?
Emily: Opalrobics, you know. You, teaching aerobics?
Opal: I get it! Opal plus aerobics! Nice!!
Emily: Its gonna be a hit. Old women everywhere could do it!
(All of a sudden Beatrice Middleton charges into the room)
Beatrice: Hey Hanson. I heard that! You're gonna get it now. I'm gonna work you. We're gonna do this like a Gunny Granny! TEN HUT! MOVE IT NOW!
Opal: (laughing) Beatrice, why do you do that?
Beatrice: Just to scare you and make your heart work better. Its Opalrobics after all!
Emily: An Opalrobics DVD?
Opal: (shocked) What in the world would he want with that? Emily Hanson what are you talking about?
Emily: Opalrobics, you know. You, teaching aerobics?
Opal: I get it! Opal plus aerobics! Nice!!
Emily: Its gonna be a hit. Old women everywhere could do it!
(All of a sudden Beatrice Middleton charges into the room)
Beatrice: Hey Hanson. I heard that! You're gonna get it now. I'm gonna work you. We're gonna do this like a Gunny Granny! TEN HUT! MOVE IT NOW!
Opal: (laughing) Beatrice, why do you do that?
Beatrice: Just to scare you and make your heart work better. Its Opalrobics after all!
by Dusty's Baby Powder April 2, 2011
Get the Opalrobicsmug.