sports bag

A bag in which one's partner stands whilst having sex in a toilet cubicle, in order to avoid their feet being seen by the lavatory attendant.

Edward was planning a little trip to Picadilly Circus.
"Would one like to take one's sports bag?" asked his butler with a straight-face.

by Dunky Oggins January 25, 2004

golden screw

Anal intercourse culminating in urination rather than ejaculation.

Charles sent his butler down to the garage to fetch some plastic sheeting.
"Dirty bugger," thought the butler, "He's gonna have a golden screw tonight."

by Dunky Oggins January 25, 2004

hughie ralph

vomit supposedly the sound made by someone vomitting

i had a dreadful hughie ralph after that cup of tea in the snooker club.

by Dunky Oggins October 28, 2003

knocking shop

A brothel.

Kevin was very shocked to see several police cars pull up outside Alec's house. "I guess he's been seen interfering with his gnomes again" Kevin surmised.
"Nah" replied John, "The pigs were tipped off that he's been running a knocking shop."

by Dunky Oggins December 30, 2003

Mexican lipstick

Smears of blood around the mouth of a person who has been performing cunnilinctus on a menstruating woman.

"Oh daddy, has someone given you a bunch of fives" said a distraught Charles.
"No, it's one's Mexican lipstick" replied Phillip smugly.

by Dunky Oggins June 11, 2006

thunderturds

Defecation accompanied by loud and evil-smelling flatulence.

Stay out of the toilet for a while folks, Kevin's got thunderturds again.

by Dunky Oggins November 18, 2003

mars bar

Excrement, or pertaining to defecation.

I'm just going to the toilet to do a mars bar.

by Dunky Oggins November 21, 2003