Last night I was awake til 4 am masterbinating to bacon-wrapped midget pegging porn, so when my alarm went off this morning, I snooze pumpered it 16 times, which is why I was late to my job as a monkey loader.
by Dragonwolf November 23, 2018
by Dragonwolf April 24, 2023
When it's been an extremely long time since intercourse and the resultant build-up produces a discharge resembling a fire hose connected to a vat of sour cream.
Obadiah : Last night was incredible !
Amos : How so ?
Obadiah : It's been eleven years since I had sex with a live woman, and last night I had a butterblast that blew a hooker out a window. I got laid AND I didn't have to pay.
Amos : How so ?
Obadiah : It's been eleven years since I had sex with a live woman, and last night I had a butterblast that blew a hooker out a window. I got laid AND I didn't have to pay.
by Dragonwolf November 09, 2018
After peeling back layer upon layer of overtly disgusting, greasy, slimy fat folds, Chauncey and I excavated enough food for Thankgiving dinner for the entire 5th street homeless shelter from within Rosies blubitty.
by Dragonwolf November 08, 2018
When you have a blockage that requires grunting and straining and which, when finally released, unleashes a shitstorm which usually requires a minimum of one half of a roll of toilet paper and several industrial-strength cleaning products in its aftermath.
Boss : Why are you so late today ?
Employee : I had a bloopitty this morning. It took me some time to clean the walls and the floor, but the real bitch was the ceiling.
Employee : I had a bloopitty this morning. It took me some time to clean the walls and the floor, but the real bitch was the ceiling.
by Dragonwolf November 11, 2018
Speaking nonsensical gibberish that means nothing in any language except those of brain-dead cretins.
by Dragonwolf December 13, 2018
A zoologist whose job it is to manually impregnate female monkeys using the sperm of male monkeys, utilizing hand-held pump devices which have a tendency to splatter.
*woman enters room drenched in a viscous, sticky, white fluid.*
Zoologist 1 : Oh my Lord !
Zoologist 2 : Relax, she's just a monkey loader having a bad day.
Zoologist 1 : Oh my Lord !
Zoologist 2 : Relax, she's just a monkey loader having a bad day.
by Dragonwolf November 11, 2018