Douglas Young's definitions

downvote

To vote as negatively as possible on something simply to offset its vote average.

A good example of downvote would be to give this definition a thumbs down, even though it's perfectly legit.

by Douglas Young November 15, 2007

concessionist

Someone who works in concessions-- typically at a movie theatre. It's technically not a word according to most dictionaries, and usually gets the red squiggly line from most spell-checkers; but you can refer to this unofficial definition as your own little victory knowing that, as far as the rest of the world is concerned, it's a real word.

Harvard Grad: Excuse me, but a girl who works in your concessions spit in my cup before serving it to me.
Management: Don't you mean a concessionist?
Harvard Grad: That's not a fucking word you imbecile.
Management: (begins making a loogie)...let me see that cup.

by Douglas Young December 29, 2007

tmz

A celebrity news source comprised of achingly annoying paparazzi and are completely oblivious to how pathetic and boring their news is. They will disturb a celebrity so much to simply get an aggravated reaction to report on. The organization on the whole is like a car crash-- you can't look away (at least for a minute) because of how stupid they are, which is why they're still around.

(Real Example)
TMZ Reporter 1: Johnny Knoxville was at LAX with a stuffed panda bear.
TMZ Reporter 2: What was he doing with a stuffed panda bear?
TMZ Reporter 1: I dunno.
TMZ Reporter 2: THOSE CRAZY CELEBS. PRINT IT!

by Douglas Young January 13, 2008

basement talker

An individual who is so bad and awkward at conversing that the only logical explanation is that their mind is focused on the fresh dead bodies they've got in their basement. They're thinking about:
- How many they've got
- If anyone knows
- If you know
- If you'd be a good addition to it
- About how much jail time they'd be sentenced to if they were ever caught

Greg: So you cut down trees? Ever have any accidents?
Basement Talker: Yes, many.
(Awkward pause)
Greg's Mind: (Shit, a basement talker. I'd better leave this conversation)
Greg: I have to, um, leave.
Basement Talker: Yes. Leave.

by Douglas Young February 8, 2008

chiers

A business in Portland/Stumptown, Oregon that goes around the city apprehending drunks. The drunks are then driven back to Chiers HQ (Aka: Hoopers/Hoppers), temporarily relieved of their possessions, thrown into cells, and kept there until they sober up-- at which point they're given their things back and a free bowl of soup. They will not devote any information to anyone (ever) outside their building, so if you get picked up for being too drunk and wake up the next morning, be sure to call your loved ones when you leave 'cause they're probably worried sick.

Chiers has an 8 o'clock line-up of homeless people waiting for the free soup handed out in the morning.

by Douglas Young October 7, 2007

derpestrian

A stupid pedestrian.
- Hits the Walk Signal more than once.
- Crosses without a crosswalk at heavy traffic, usually stranding himself on an "island" for many minutes.
- Has not mastered the art of jaywalking.
- Crosses in front of a car who finally gets a break in the traffic he's been wanting to merge with.
Term can be thought of as DERR-pestrian or fake-German like "der pest-rian."

Motherfuckin derpestrian!! Crossin' however you please just 'cause you know you could sue me if I hit you. Bitch.

by Douglas Young November 13, 2007

go tit

A common Freudian slip through the fingers during a chat session, usually made when one is thinking about sex.

Lucy: See you at 8.
Dave: You go tit.
Lucy: ...what?
Dave: Err, you goat tit.
Lucy: ...WHAT??
Dave: UHH, YOU GOT TITS. OH JESUS! WHY CAN'T I CONTROL MY FINGERS POOPERLY. OH GOD.

by Douglas Young January 9, 2008