Douglas Young's definitions

play it cool

To pretend you're not as anxious as you really are; usually used in terms of dating, deals, or any life-altering events.

Dude let HER call YOU, it's only been two days-- play it cool.

by Douglas Young December 26, 2007

:DGC

A smiley of a guy fapping. The colon is his mouth, the capital letter D is his giant grin, the G is his two arms, with the right one bent around to grab his penis, which is represented by the squared off inner part of the G, and finally the C are his curvy yet stable legs, which support his fapping.

So you see children, :DGC makes an excellent picture of a man fapping, please bring your homework next class, and remember that :'(GC is what kids look like when they have fapped to a zebra and have realized a horrible truth about themselves.

by Douglas Young October 12, 2008

alpha male

1. The (male) leader of a pack, usually earned his place through instilling fear in others. The pack is usually smarter than the alpha male, but is more afraid to have him as an enemy than a friend. Through evolution, however, the original alpha male behavior is becoming different; what was once fear of the leader himself, has now become fear of whatever the alpha male considers a threat to him. Despite the rank or power the alpha male may achieve through his methods in society, it is still a primitive role to have, due to the selfish nature of his life. Rest assured, if the pack ever had the chance, they would probably remove his role from their society without hesitation.

2. The dudes that pick who they want on their shitty teams in gym class. Arch nemesis of the nerd-people.

1. President Bush is an alpha male, if you know what I mean.
2. Greg, the alpha male, picked Scott for his dodgeball team; everyone thinks it's because Scott is well-built, but really Greg is just a closet homosexual and will jerk off to a picture he has of Scott when he gets home. He will then watch Sex in the City and drink cranberry juice.

by Douglas Young October 6, 2007

basement talker

An individual who is so bad and awkward at conversing that the only logical explanation is that their mind is focused on the fresh dead bodies they've got in their basement. They're thinking about:
- How many they've got
- If anyone knows
- If you know
- If you'd be a good addition to it
- About how much jail time they'd be sentenced to if they were ever caught

Greg: So you cut down trees? Ever have any accidents?
Basement Talker: Yes, many.
(Awkward pause)
Greg's Mind: (Shit, a basement talker. I'd better leave this conversation)
Greg: I have to, um, leave.
Basement Talker: Yes. Leave.

by Douglas Young February 8, 2008

tmz

A celebrity news source comprised of achingly annoying paparazzi and are completely oblivious to how pathetic and boring their news is. They will disturb a celebrity so much to simply get an aggravated reaction to report on. The organization on the whole is like a car crash-- you can't look away (at least for a minute) because of how stupid they are, which is why they're still around.

(Real Example)
TMZ Reporter 1: Johnny Knoxville was at LAX with a stuffed panda bear.
TMZ Reporter 2: What was he doing with a stuffed panda bear?
TMZ Reporter 1: I dunno.
TMZ Reporter 2: THOSE CRAZY CELEBS. PRINT IT!

by Douglas Young January 13, 2008

textasterone

The need to text someone, usually out of complete boredom and usually because social interaction is craved.

Guy: I'm comin' down with some textasterone here, maybe if I ask everyone what they thought of the latest movie that came out.

by Douglas Young September 24, 2007

downvote

To vote as negatively as possible on something simply to offset its vote average.

A good example of downvote would be to give this definition a thumbs down, even though it's perfectly legit.

by Douglas Young November 15, 2007