Dorkmuffin 's definitions
After providing three hours of exceptional service, Shep was horrified to learn that Jack the Tipper was the host of that night’s party of twelve.
by Dorkmuffin May 2, 2019
Get the Jack the Tippermug. A sports dad who is never happy with the performance of the officials, the other team, his own coach, or his own kid, and makes sure everyone around him knows it.
by Dorkmuffin May 2, 2019
Get the Old Yellermug. Noun: A person who orders takeout for the whole office and pays for each order separately rather than pooling the money beforehand and figuring out the change later.
Shep missed his train because some pickup artist at the front of the line in the restaurant freaked out when Bob’s envelope was a dollar short.
by Dorkmuffin May 1, 2019
Get the Pickup artistmug. Noun: Not actually a real thing, but it appears to be located in the sinus cavities of toddlers and constantly blows out mucus at varying speeds.
by Dorkmuffin April 29, 2019
Get the Nose hosemug. Noun: A blockage created by a “careful driver” attempting to pass a tractor-trailer; upon reaching the back of the trailer, the car slows to 1 mph faster than the truck and takes 3 or 4 miles to pass before resuming normal speed.
Shep really had to use the bathroom and almost didn’t make it to the rest stop in time because some grandpa created a 22-wheeler right in front of him.
by Dorkmuffin May 4, 2019
Get the 22-wheelermug. A traffic jam created by two or more moms who stop to chat in a doorway, oblivious of the crowd behind them.
Shep thought he could make it out of the gym before the concession stand closed, but he didn’t count on the inevitable postgame ma’am jam.
by Dorkmuffin April 28, 2019
Get the Ma’am jammug. At first I was mad that Ronnie left a growhawk in the front yard, but it was a great place to hide Easter eggs.
by Dorkmuffin April 24, 2019
Get the Growhawkmug.