Definitions by Dick Onchin

Flogging Tonsils 

Vigorous deep throating of the male fuck knob that deprives the giver of air and delivers a old fashioned tonsil beat down.

I came home drunk and work her up and started flogging tonsils.

The prostitute likes it dirty and rough so I started flogging tonsils and she was gagging hard.

Flogging Tonsils by Dick Onchin October 14, 2020

Whipping the Flaps 

Female masturbation.

I could hear my roommate whipping the flaps last night after going to bed.

I walked in on my sister whipping the flaps to lesbian porn.

I spent the whole weekend whipping the flaps after my boyfriend canceled his visit.

Whipping the Flaps by Dick Onchin October 13, 2020

Hammer Schmear 

A little dollop of thick smegma under the penile foreskin.

She looked so pretty with a bit of my hammer schmear on her upper lip.

I need to wash the hammer schmear a little better. It stinks.

Hammer Schmear by Dick Onchin October 13, 2020

Heatin’ Beef 

Brewing up a massive turd/shit proceeded by multiple rounds of repugnant, room clearing flatulence.

I was heatin’ beef bad this morning. I cleared the break room out twice before starting to crown and having to run to the shitter.

Heatin’ Beef by Dick Onchin October 12, 2020

Side Slider

A male or female with a colostomy bag that will remove it so you can pound one out in the stoma.

I scored double with that filthy prostitute. She blew me for $10. Then found out she’s a side slider so she let me pound it out in her for another $10.

Side Slider by Dick Onchin October 12, 2020

Involuntary Fluffer 

Someone that gets your cock hard without knowing they are having such a filthy impact on your day.

The involuntary fluffer can cause this by just walking by, a friendly smile or chat. The possibilities are endless as are the erections.

My new boss has no idea that she’s my involuntary fluffer.

The maid because my involuntary fluffer every Thursday.

Involuntary Fluffer by Dick Onchin October 12, 2020

Gopher Dot 

When a male or female squats over a sleeping partner’s forehead and commences to start gopher holing repeatedly until the juicy turd is extended out far enough to leave a small shit stamp on their partner’s forehead.

Only a true gopher holing master can accomplish this time treasured feat of intestinal strength.

There will be no gopher dot tonight. I had Taco Bell earlier. Too loose.

I woke up this morning and the random I hooked up with had left with no goodbye but I shortly saw in the mirror that he had said goodbye with a gopher dot.

Gopher Dot by Dick Onchin October 12, 2020