Definitions by Dick Onchin
Vanilla Split
When a black gentlemen with an enormously large, girthy penis absolutely anally rails an albino female or male.
Did you hear about Tyrone? He hooked up last night and did the vanilla split on some guy that looked like he was in the movie Powder. Gave his pale ass a pink sock from what I hear.
Vanilla Split by Dick Onchin December 11, 2020
Semen Tax
Rachel is so high maintenance. I knew old pay a hefty semen tax to rearrange them guts but I did it. Cost me dinner at Ruths Chris.
I hope this diamond necklace seals the deal for me and I finally get to clap her cheeks. I can’t tell you the semen tax I have had to pay.
I hope this diamond necklace seals the deal for me and I finally get to clap her cheeks. I can’t tell you the semen tax I have had to pay.
Semen Tax by Dick Onchin December 9, 2020
Jimmy Dean Fleshlight
Masturbating with a tube of fresh, ground pork sausage. Provides that incredible skin to skin feel.
Performed first by cutting an end off the sausage tube exposing the moist pink meat. Then, carefully hollowing out a small canal in the middle of the tube and setting this spare meat aside. After that, slide the tube down over the erect, turgid penis and work that throbbing knob by maneuvering the meat tube up and down the shaft vigorously until climax.
As with all raw meats, please practice appropriate food safety.
The sausage, while likely to look like a ragged whore’s pussy when done, may be saved and served for a extra hearty breakfast if desired.
Performed first by cutting an end off the sausage tube exposing the moist pink meat. Then, carefully hollowing out a small canal in the middle of the tube and setting this spare meat aside. After that, slide the tube down over the erect, turgid penis and work that throbbing knob by maneuvering the meat tube up and down the shaft vigorously until climax.
As with all raw meats, please practice appropriate food safety.
The sausage, while likely to look like a ragged whore’s pussy when done, may be saved and served for a extra hearty breakfast if desired.
My pubes were filled with raw sausage after I did the Jimmy Dean fleshlight last night but it was so lifelike I’m going to do it again tonight. The Kroger had it on sale BOGO.
Jimmy Dean Fleshlight by Dick Onchin December 8, 2020
Nose the Nest
Getting your nose buried all up in her wooly, hairy bush, taking in those embedded, intoxicating aromas, all while eating her out like a fat kid eating cake.
Can’t wait to get home to nose the nest tonight. Rachel is hairy AF and love that Chewbacca looking poon.
Nose the Nest by Dick Onchin December 7, 2020
Tiddlytwink
A disparaging reference to a male twink that is past his teen boyish prime and lost his youthful features that most chicken hawks find attractive. While some youthful qualities may remain, becoming a tiddlytwink usually applies to former twinks now ranging in age from 25-30.
Once I realized that I was no longer getting barraged with dick pics from dirty old men, I knew I had become a tiddlytwink.
Tiddlytwink by Dick Onchin December 7, 2020
Marker Tipper
A post shit wipe job that seemingly never wipes clean. No matter how many wipes, the paper looks like a magic marker tip is peeking out your ass and streaking the toilet paper. Eventually, you just give up and except it won’t be completely clean.
Man it never fails. I was in a hurry and took a quick shit. Ended up with a marker tipper and spent 15 minutes wiping myself raw. Finally gave up.
The marker tipper I had ended up also leaving skid marks in my boxers.
The marker tipper I had ended up also leaving skid marks in my boxers.
Marker Tipper by Dick Onchin December 7, 2020
Brim Burner
A fart, shit or shart that painfully burns and stings the outer edges of the anal sphincter when released.
Bbbbbbbrrrrrrraaaaapppp!! Dang that was a brim burner. Stinging right now.
Those extra jalapeños at chipotle were enough to give me a brim burner this morning. I needed a medicated wipe with aloe.
I’m not feeling well and sharted. It was a brim burner.
Those extra jalapeños at chipotle were enough to give me a brim burner this morning. I needed a medicated wipe with aloe.
I’m not feeling well and sharted. It was a brim burner.
Brim Burner by Dick Onchin December 6, 2020