Dashiell

Me

Hi, I'm Dashiell.

by DashiellShatter April 25, 2023

Pillow Ketchup

The red stuff you find on your pillow after your wife shot you.

I woke up and found some pillow ketchup.

by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023

Wallpaper Dad

A father who likes licking the white powder off of the wallpaper.

Person 1: Hey, can I come over to your house?
Person 2: No, I need to take my wallpaper dad to the hospital.

by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023

Eggplant Motorcycle

When you try to fuck someone but miss and they throw you out of bed into Poland

I can't believe it! I tried to fuck my wife and she hit me with the eggplant motorcycle!

by DashiellShatter April 25, 2023

High School

Hell

High school is like riding a bike, and the bike's on fire, and the ground's on fire, and everything's on fire 'cause you're in hell.

by DashiellShatter April 25, 2023

Awesome Man Gets Food Simulator

The best game on Scratch play it now

Bro have you played DGMP's new game Awesome Man Gets Food Simulator? It's so epicenter!

by DashiellShatter April 25, 2023

Tristan

The greatest guy in existence

OMG IT'S TRISTAN!!!!! *anime squeal*

by DashiellShatter April 25, 2023