D. Finer's definitions

brown taco

Taking a turd, laying it in a woman's vulva, then eating it.

"Don't mind my breath, I've been eating brown taco!"

by D. Finer November 29, 2006

rectal benedict

when someone takes a crap in your mouth through a piece of canadian bacon.

Does anyone have a toothbrush? I just had a rectal benedict!"

by D. Finer November 29, 2006

Oral Hersheiser

Taking a dump in a person's mouth while smacking them in the forehead with a "meat bat." While various penetrations are highly encouraged, a true Oral Hersheiser must not include sexual consummation, as the eponymous baseball player holds the record for most "scoreless innings."

"You haven't had Scheiße till you've had an Oral Hersheiser!"

by D. Finer November 29, 2006

brown snatch

Verb. To pluck a turd from someone's anus. Common with impacted colons.

"Don't shake my hand; I've just pulled a brown snatch."

by D. Finer November 29, 2006

jaspers

Human sex-balls. Danglies.

"Open wide darlin', I've got a hankering to dunk my jaspers!"

by D. Finer November 29, 2006

brown tefillin

To take a crap on someone's hand and forehead. The scatalogical version of the orthodox religious practice.

"I got a brown tefillin when all I really wanted was a hug!"

by D. Finer November 29, 2006