Crezzing is the act of stimulating the nipples or genitals of a freshly embalmed corpse until it begins to secrete residual embalming fluid, which is then collected and used as lubricant during a nearby masturbation ritual. The session is typically performed beside the open casket, often in silence, with climax ideally achieved before the corpse's pupils fully dilate under viewing lights.
This act is associated with grief, guilt, and the pursuit of what practitioners call the "funeral finish." Some collect the fluid in ornate vessels referred to as a Crezz Cup, and log the act in personal codices.
This act is associated with grief, guilt, and the pursuit of what practitioners call the "funeral finish." Some collect the fluid in ornate vessels referred to as a Crezz Cup, and log the act in personal codices.
“Tom said the embalming was still fresh and the satin wasn’t stained yet, so he went for a clean crezz.”
“Dylan lit two tea candles and crezzed for twenty minutes before someone walked in. He blamed ‘mourning jitters.’”
“Clayton always said he’d never stoop to crezzing, but Sean caught him mid-stroke behind the curtain with a milk jug. No shame left in the Brotherhood.”
“Dylan lit two tea candles and crezzed for twenty minutes before someone walked in. He blamed ‘mourning jitters.’”
“Clayton always said he’d never stoop to crezzing, but Sean caught him mid-stroke behind the curtain with a milk jug. No shame left in the Brotherhood.”
by Crusty smeglord July 23, 2025
Get the Crezzingmug. Snurling is a highly taboo and disturbing ritual sex act involving two corpses. The act begins by inserting a fetus (usually from a stillbirth or recently deceased pregnant woman) into the rectum of a fresh corpse. A practitioner known as the Snurler then performs oral suction on the corpse’s mouth, attempting to draw the fetus up through the digestive tract and extract it through the esophagus and throat into their own mouth.
“You think gorping’s bad? Bro’s been snurling since the funeral.”
“Sticky Ricky got caught mid-snurl again. Cops found the fetus halfway up the chute.”
“He keeps a jar labeled ‘snurl fuel’ in the fridge. I’m never visiting him again.”
“Sticky Ricky got caught mid-snurl again. Cops found the fetus halfway up the chute.”
“He keeps a jar labeled ‘snurl fuel’ in the fridge. I’m never visiting him again.”
by Crusty smeglord July 23, 2025
Get the Snurlingmug. The Embalmer’s Mercy refers to a rare and disturbing postmortem phenomenon where a freshly embalmed corpse retains just enough warmth, pliability, or fluidity to allow for ritualistic sexual desecration — such as crezzing or snurling — to be performed more easily and “welcomely.”
Some believe it’s intentional, a silent blessing from the mortician. Others believe it’s spiritual consent from the dead. In either case, the Mercy is considered a sacred sign — a bodily softness that defies the chemicals meant to preserve and deny.
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Common signs of the Mercy include:
A corpse's nipples or thighs still faintly warm
Jaw or orifices remaining soft after embalming
Fluid leakage without stimulation
An unexplained twitch or “invitation” under candlelight
Some believe it’s intentional, a silent blessing from the mortician. Others believe it’s spiritual consent from the dead. In either case, the Mercy is considered a sacred sign — a bodily softness that defies the chemicals meant to preserve and deny.
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Common signs of the Mercy include:
A corpse's nipples or thighs still faintly warm
Jaw or orifices remaining soft after embalming
Fluid leakage without stimulation
An unexplained twitch or “invitation” under candlelight
“The mortician swore she was sealed, but I saw fluid glisten on the satin liner. The Embalmer’s Mercy is real.”
“Clayton only crezzes if the Mercy presents itself. He calls it ‘ethical embalming.’”
“Tom felt warmth in her throat after 18 hours on ice. He whispered, ‘Thank you, Saint Formaldehyde,’ and began the ritual.”
“Clayton only crezzes if the Mercy presents itself. He calls it ‘ethical embalming.’”
“Tom felt warmth in her throat after 18 hours on ice. He whispered, ‘Thank you, Saint Formaldehyde,’ and began the ritual.”
by Crusty smeglord July 23, 2025
Get the The Embalmer’s Mercymug.