Definitions by Crommer the gap toothed pirate
Oysters Nielsen
Oysters Nielsen by Crommer the gap toothed pirate January 28, 2023
Hog-gasm
When your man is about to release the "dog of war" and you can only respond by making guteral swine noises.
Hog-gasm by Crommer the gap toothed pirate March 9, 2019
Herogasm
Cromer paid those guys to attack Tiffany, so after he saved her, she would let him herogasm on her face.
Herogasm by Crommer the gap toothed pirate March 8, 2019
The perfect stranger
It's much like the stranger technique but more advanced. When performing the stranger, one sits on their hand until it falls asleep then "rubs one out" so it feels like someone else giving you a handjob. Using this technique one lays on their stomach until their genitals fall asleep then "rubs one out" to simulate giving someone else a handjob.
Cromer had never had the perfect stranger but once he tried it, he agreed that it really was like giving some else a handjob.
The perfect stranger by Crommer the gap toothed pirate October 22, 2016
Necrobath
When you have your significant other lay in a bathtub full of ice until the skin is numb and blueish. You then have sex with the significant other while they hold completely still to simulate having sex with a dead body.
I thought Cromer was giving Tiffany a necrobath......I'm not allowed to hang out with Cromer anymore.
Necrobath by Crommer the gap toothed pirate July 22, 2016
Iraqi-bation
Just when I thought Saddam couldn't take anymore Iraqi-bation, he came. And that apparently felt nice.
Iraqi-bation by Crommer the gap toothed pirate July 22, 2016
Porto pumper
When two or more people have sex with someone in a portojohn while dipping their face in the blue water.
At the Rusted Roots concert it was obvious Cromer and his buddy were giving Tiffany the porto pumper because of the smell of dirty bung hole sweat and the sound of girgling.
Porto pumper by Crommer the gap toothed pirate July 22, 2016