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Cosmicstargoat's definitions

Why pay Tuesday for a hamburger today

Why? Simply because this is a euphemism for asking for a freebie, a handout or a loan that you never intend to pay. First made famous by the bloated nitwit 'Wimpy', a waddling loser with an eating disorder in Popeye comics, it is a metaphor for the financial irresponsibility that is epidemic in American society today.

You have undoubtedly seen these 'Check Cashing' businesses that have a habit of springing up in the declining parts of town. Well, what these leeches do is give the gullible and irresponsible dregs of our society ADVANCES on their next paycheck, at exorbitant interest rates, skirting the usury laws. Once they get their claws into you, you are doomed. Idiots do this sort of thing in order to support their lotto or cigarette habit.


"I'll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburer today", simply put is spending money before you have it. -or- simply mooching.
The United States Federal Government churns out millions of dollars of military, welfare and other 'hamburgers' that it does not intend to pay for until next Tuesday. In other words, by your grandchildren.
by Cosmicstargoat January 28, 2007
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snap shit

You'll snap shit when you go to the war soldier, or you'll come back in a rubber sack.
by Cosmicstargoat May 14, 2004
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A duck!

An insurance salesperson who is continually frustrated by humans who refuse to listen.
by Cosmicstargoat June 5, 2004
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bumper stickers

Annoying and often Idiotic slogans, sayings and proclamations that are attached to the bumpers of the vehicles of usually rednecks or aging hippies.

These abrasive slogans are displayed by the proud owners in lieu of actual original thought and expression. Ditto for the stupid fishies that fundies adorn their autos with, smugly trying to project some sort of superiority, but only showing their boundless stupidity.
My daughter is a honor student

honk if you love jesus

It's in the Bible, I believe it, and that settles it

If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns

In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned

Tourettes is a GODAMNED, SERIOUS fucking CONDITION, man!
by Cosmicstargoat June 16, 2004
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retired

When it is no longer necessary to suck up to Corporate America in order to earn a living. This means giving up crowded airports, unnecessary meetings, a Sales Manager that is 20 years your junior telling you how badly that you suck, Action Plans, Quotas, more meetings, a business suit, white shirt and tie, ulcers and stomach cramps.

Being genuinely retired means that you began long ago to plan for the future and can now tell everyone except Mother Nature and Father Time to 'kiss ass'
I am retired, so leave me alone.
by Cosmicstargoat June 16, 2004
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the fed

The Federal Reserve System. The Chairman of The Fed is Alan Greenspan, the most powerful man in the world. Alan Greenspan HATES The Stock Market and gets great pleasure from making ambiguous statements during Senate hearings that throw The Market into a tizzy.

The Fed is responsible for regulating the monetary policy and interest rates for The United States.

When Alan Greenspan twitches his nose the wrong way, Wall Street contorts, sometimes violently, plunging at 64 feet per second.
My 401K is now a 201K, Thanks, Al!
by Cosmicstargoat June 16, 2004
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bwahaha

Online derisive laughter, at your expense.
You actually purchased a penis patch? bwhahah!! roflmao
by Cosmicstargoat February 14, 2004
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