Comrade Karl's definitions

Captain Vostrikov

Hero of the Soviet Union!

Captain Vostrikov was the commander of the Soviet submarine K-19. He raced against time to prevent a Chernobyl-like nuclear disaster which threatened not only the lives of his crew, but had the potential to ignite a world war between the super powers.

Captain Polenin: Lieutenant Yashim is the best reactor officer in the navy. He's never been drunk on duty before. We need him Captain, I urge you to reconsider.

Captain Vostrikov: I want this boat out of dry dock. Sea trials begin in 2 weeks.

Captain Polenin: The boat isn't ready Captain. The problem is Moscow. They organize party V.I.P tours, but were stuck with incompetent yard crews and deffective parts.

Captain Vostrikov: Sea trials will begin as schedualed. We deliver, or we drown.

by Comrade Karl April 7, 2005

Captain Polenin

Ex-Commander of the Soviet Submarine K-19. Polenin is under great pressure from the Russian leadership to not only launch on time, but to have the new flagship of the fleet ready for a successful missile test firing to get the attention of the U.S. government. The fact that some systems in the K-19 seem to be faulty and fail on a regular basis is of no concern for the government, and they believe that Captain Polenin has put the safety of his crew over the interests of the Communist Party. Russia, by thus, decides that Capt. Polenin is not fit to command the ship. Since Polenin knows the ship and crew well, he is assigned to stay aboard the K-19 as an executive officer under the command of Captain. Alexi Vostrikov

See Captain Vostrikov

Captain Polenin: "At every stage of this disaster which came within moments of being a far greater disaster, the officers and crew did what had to be done. 7 are now dead. And nobody knows how many more are dying or how fast. These are the men who returned home to be interrogated as if a crime had been commited. Questioned, even when undergoing treatment for radiation poisoning. Locked up and denied access to wives and families. But they and their comrades saved K-19. And maybe, just maybe, they saved all of you as well."

Soviet Brass: "Thank you Capt. Polenian"

Captain Polenin: "One thing more, please."

Soviet Brass: "Thank you-"

Captain Polenin: "No Captain, in the Soviet Navy has ever been faced with such decisions. The fate of the boat, the crew... the fate of the world. All in the balance. (sighs) The Navy is my life, and one thing I know: there can be only one captain of a ship. The burden of command is on his shoulders, and his alone. None of you. None of you has the right to judge Capt. Vostrikov. You weren't there... I was. He was our captain, he was my captain. (Looks over at Captain Vostrikov and stands at attention) And it would be an honor, to sail under his command again."

by Comrade Karl April 7, 2005

Head Up In The Clouds

Said to someone who fails to comprehend his or her own present situation. Often perceived as a misinterpretation of past events or activities. It is advisable to remind the person in question (if you appear to be in verbally discernible range), of his or her mistake to avoid any forthcoming embarassments on his or her part.

(Brief exchange prior to an imminent Science Test)

Karl: Hey Ev! *shakes his hand* Fail with honor!
Evan: Thanks. You too.
Karl: Ayan! *shakes his hand* Fail with honor!
Ayan: What?! Hey, I'm passing!
Karl: Ughh.
Evan: Haha, head up in the clouds Ayan!

by Comrade Karl April 12, 2005

Shit Basket

Yet another reference to the toilet bowl which you use for your daily (I hope) cleansing.

Evan: So then she said... (blah blah blah)
Karl: Wait! Hold that thought, I gotta go to the Shit Basket!

by Comrade Karl April 12, 2005

friends

Word used as a gentle attempt to either turn someone down, or break up with a current relationship.

As in these famous examples:

"I just wanna be friends"
"I like you as a friend"
"Could we still be friends?"

v1. To dump someone's ass casually.
v2. To give someone the friends syn: deceive

Evan: So, how's it going with her?
Karl: Ohh, she gave me the friends last night.
Evan: Shit, sorry to hear that.

by Comrade Karl May 6, 2005

nerdi-chlorians

Nerdi-chlorians are microscopic life-forms that reside within the cells of all living nerds. They give their counterpart a characteristic called worldly ignorance.

This person/thing becomes unaware that his behavior appears odd to others. If you told him so, he would not believe you. If you explained why, he would not understand.

Nerdi-chlorians are a way to measure the person's nerdiness; their stupid behavior.

Evan: Ughh, what a fuckin' nerd!
Karl: I know, he must have a high nerdi-chlorian count.

by Comrade Karl May 6, 2005

Doge

Acronym for: "Deficiency Of Goddamn Everything", quoted from the Mac Hall Comics.

Guy1 -Our friend here is going to be a medical celebrity.
Guy2 -Sweet!
Guy1 -They found symptoms of scurvy, rickets, beri beri and a couple of others. It was the royal flush of nutritional disorders.
Guy1 -In fact, they're going to write it up as a new condition called Doge and sumbit it to Jama.
Guy2 -Doge?
Guy1 -Deficiency of goddamn everything!

by Comrade Karl December 7, 2006