Comrade Karl's definitions

AOL tactic

To get your point across using childish, misleading and insufferable methods. Trying to convince someone (who by using such tactics one can imagine to be extremely gullible) using an idiotic and obviously deceptive approach. Although mentioned in name, the usage of this term is not limited to AOL alone.

Almost all corporations use AOL tactics to sell their product or service. All are insults to your intelligence.

- Lavalife Flash-based Advertisement:

Number of singles like you on Lavalife... (And the numbers rise from 0 and on in increasing speeds)... 17,384! Sign up NOW!

OR

How many seconds does it take the average person to find a hottie on Lavalife? (numbers displayed are 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 and 9)... 9! (Of course they fail to mention the fact that it'll take someone days, if not weeks, to drag a hottie out of their home to come and meet a complete stranger)

- Microsoft's Free XBOX Advertisement:

Congratulations! You've just won a FREE XBOX. Click here to claim your prize! (With "certain conditions apply" like completing an offer and having 10 of your friends do the same, written in small characters)

- AOL's "keywords" displayed in movie trailers at the theater. (Ex: A Lord of the Rings trailer is shown, and the keyword search tip is "Lord of the Rings")

And of course who could forget the random "You're our 99872384234th visitor, you've won eleventy billion dollars!"

All are AOL tactics.

by Comrade Karl August 8, 2006

Captain Polenin

Ex-Commander of the Soviet Submarine K-19. Polenin is under great pressure from the Russian leadership to not only launch on time, but to have the new flagship of the fleet ready for a successful missile test firing to get the attention of the U.S. government. The fact that some systems in the K-19 seem to be faulty and fail on a regular basis is of no concern for the government, and they believe that Captain Polenin has put the safety of his crew over the interests of the Communist Party. Russia, by thus, decides that Capt. Polenin is not fit to command the ship. Since Polenin knows the ship and crew well, he is assigned to stay aboard the K-19 as an executive officer under the command of Captain. Alexi Vostrikov

See Captain Vostrikov

Captain Polenin: "At every stage of this disaster which came within moments of being a far greater disaster, the officers and crew did what had to be done. 7 are now dead. And nobody knows how many more are dying or how fast. These are the men who returned home to be interrogated as if a crime had been commited. Questioned, even when undergoing treatment for radiation poisoning. Locked up and denied access to wives and families. But they and their comrades saved K-19. And maybe, just maybe, they saved all of you as well."

Soviet Brass: "Thank you Capt. Polenian"

Captain Polenin: "One thing more, please."

Soviet Brass: "Thank you-"

Captain Polenin: "No Captain, in the Soviet Navy has ever been faced with such decisions. The fate of the boat, the crew... the fate of the world. All in the balance. (sighs) The Navy is my life, and one thing I know: there can be only one captain of a ship. The burden of command is on his shoulders, and his alone. None of you. None of you has the right to judge Capt. Vostrikov. You weren't there... I was. He was our captain, he was my captain. (Looks over at Captain Vostrikov and stands at attention) And it would be an honor, to sail under his command again."

by Comrade Karl April 7, 2005

Captain Vostrikov

Hero of the Soviet Union!

Captain Vostrikov was the commander of the Soviet submarine K-19. He raced against time to prevent a Chernobyl-like nuclear disaster which threatened not only the lives of his crew, but had the potential to ignite a world war between the super powers.

Captain Polenin: Lieutenant Yashim is the best reactor officer in the navy. He's never been drunk on duty before. We need him Captain, I urge you to reconsider.

Captain Vostrikov: I want this boat out of dry dock. Sea trials begin in 2 weeks.

Captain Polenin: The boat isn't ready Captain. The problem is Moscow. They organize party V.I.P tours, but were stuck with incompetent yard crews and deffective parts.

Captain Vostrikov: Sea trials will begin as schedualed. We deliver, or we drown.

by Comrade Karl April 7, 2005

BMW

Stands for "Bus Metro & Walk".

Something everyone should learn to use.

Steven took the BMW to get to work, and returned late in the night.

by Comrade Karl April 20, 2006

nerdi-chlorians

Nerdi-chlorians are microscopic life-forms that reside within the cells of all living nerds. They give their counterpart a characteristic called worldly ignorance.

This person/thing becomes unaware that his behavior appears odd to others. If you told him so, he would not believe you. If you explained why, he would not understand.

Nerdi-chlorians are a way to measure the person's nerdiness; their stupid behavior.

Evan: Ughh, what a fuckin' nerd!
Karl: I know, he must have a high nerdi-chlorian count.

by Comrade Karl May 6, 2005

Angasm

The peak of moral depression, characterized by strong feelings of displeasure and by a series of involuntary outcries and/or squeals.
Quite frankly the opposite of an orgasm.

Noah had an angasm yesturday after making an introspection of his love life.

by Comrade Karl September 25, 2005

fagbo

Contraction of "Faggot Hobo"

Faggot + Hobo = Fagbo

One who retains the individuality of both a hobo and a fag.

Karl: Noah is such a fagbo.
Ayan: What's a fagbo?
Karl: A homosexual hobo. Ohh, there he goes! Ahh... You just missed it.

by Comrade Karl April 7, 2005