The religion 'a' was formed by a group of moronic 12 year olds in the year 2003. Followers worship the letter 'a' and think that God is the image of giant smiling letter a with pigtails and a crown. The followers are led by the 'Pope of a,' who is a mystical figure, suspected to have died of a ruptured spleen in late 2005.
The paramilitary wing of the religion (the crusaders of cheerfulness) is led by Sergeant Smiley, one of the world's most wanted criminals. Despite not having any bodily features aside from a large round hairless face, he has killed over 2000 supporters of the rivalling religion b, with the help of his comrades.
Guy: Do you believe in God then?
Dumb guy: Yeah, God is the letter a.
Guy: What the fuck?
Dumb guy: Yeah, I'm a member of the a religion.
Guy: You dumb shit.
The pope of a is what followers of the a religion
worship. They say she is a giant floating letter a with pigtails and a crown.
It is rumoured that she once had an affair with sergeant smiley, leader of the paramilitary wing of the religion.
Dickhead: Ooooooh I worship you o holy pope!
Pope of a: Lovely.
Mullet b is the supposed 'God' of the religion b
, a satanic cult deriving from a maths text book 4 years ago. Mullet b is rumoured to be in possession of the WORLD'S WORST MULLET, but it has never been photographed. An artist's impression of said mullet once sadly killed 7 japanese tourists off the coast of Bognor Regis.
Guy: OH MY GOD THAT MULLET IS TERRIBLE!!! *dies*
Mullet b: Now that's mullet power.
The b religion is the only religion on earth stupider than the a religion
. They follow the satanic mullet b, who has the world's worst mullet. Followers usually have shit hair.
Guy: Why are you growing that mullet?
Dumb guy: I follow the b religion.
Guy: You're a dick.