Colin Cummerbund's definitions
A television series shown on Channel 4. Loosely based on Hell's Kitchen it features the famous artist Briggsy as head chef. The contestants have to impress Briggsy by cooking meals using their own jizz. Briggsy tests all the dishes whilst playing with his little scabby cock. He awards points for taste and presentation. The winner is permitted to fellate Briggsy in Tate Modern whilst hundreds of onlookers cheer and shout arty slogans.
Are you off to Tate Modern, Quentin?
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
by colin cummerbund May 9, 2009
Get the Briggsy's Kitchenmug. Going to the pub during your work lunch-break and consuming a meat pie and at least four pints of beer. The effect is doubled if the person doing a Searby has grey curly hair.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
Get the Doing a Searbymug. A variety of dogging popular in arty circles. Instead of using cars the homosexual participants arrive on penny-farthings and bugger each other senseless.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
Get the Briggsy doggingmug. Otherwise known as Briggsy's Gay Mafia. A bunch of pretentious artists who punish the non-arty. They march through cities and verbally abuse anyone who dares to walk past an art gallery without going in and jizzing their pants in artistic excitement. Briggsy's Art Police is made up of all the artists who have been anally pleasured by Briggsy and who worship the dwarf as their god.
Better not walk past Tate Modern without going in. Briggsy's Art Police will be patrolling and I don't fancy being harangued by a gaggle of mincing queers.
by Colin Cummerbund September 18, 2006
Get the Briggsy's Art Policemug. The turd which is produced after living on crisps, coke and chocolate bars for several days. Its a hideous, grey and sometimes hairy turd which smells so bad it can cause buildings to be evacuated for months.
I've been living off the vending machine at work for a week. I think I'll soon be dropping a Briggsy jobbie.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
Get the Briggsy jobbiemug. A legendary homosexual porno film starring gay artist Briggsy. The movie opens with Briggsy hitching a lift to England's gay capital in a caravan. On arrival he buggers his way through the city's gay clubs. A particularly memorable scene shows the arty dwarf bumming a Portuguese trans-sexual over a bar stool whilst a fruity-looking barman douses him with a soda syphon.
Fruity queen: So Briggsy, what title did you give your film in which you do Brighton? Something really clever?
Briggsy: Of course. I decided to call it "Briggsy Does Brighton"
Briggsy: Of course. I decided to call it "Briggsy Does Brighton"
by Colin Cummerbund December 9, 2006
Get the Briggsy Does Brightonmug. A type of Brothel worked by only the oldest, ugliest and most disease-riddled prostitutes. These women can't do business with regular clients as they are so repulsive no one would pay for them. Instead they are condemned to a Briggsy Brothel where only the oldest, ugliest and most disease-riddled clients go. Regular prostitutes won't do business with these clients as they are so repellant. Thus the Briggsy Brothel matches up hideous hookers with repulsive johns. The BB is such a niche profession that the hookers are frequently idle. These disused prostitutional wastes pass the time by exchanging treasured possessions such as genital warts and fanny slugs.
by Colin Cummerbund September 8, 2006
Get the Briggsy Brothelmug.