Colin Cummerbund's definitions
A television series shown on Channel 4. Loosely based on Hell's Kitchen it features the famous artist Briggsy as head chef. The contestants have to impress Briggsy by cooking meals using their own jizz. Briggsy tests all the dishes whilst playing with his little scabby cock. He awards points for taste and presentation. The winner is permitted to fellate Briggsy in Tate Modern whilst hundreds of onlookers cheer and shout arty slogans.
Are you off to Tate Modern, Quentin?
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
Certainly am, Benjy. The winner of Briggsy's Kitchen is receiving his prize this afternoon.
by colin cummerbund May 9, 2009
Get the Briggsy's Kitchen mug.An art prize for artists too obscure and ludicrous for even the Turner Prize. Entrants for the Briggsy Prize have included a lamb chop stuffed inside a small child's mitten, the word "talent" written on an Etch-a-sketch and a Christmas card torn in half next to a copy of the Scunthorpe Yellow Pages.
Art critic: What piece are you currently working on?
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
by Colin Cummerbund December 14, 2006
Get the Briggsy Prize mug.A legendary homosexual porno film starring gay artist Briggsy. The movie opens with Briggsy hitching a lift to England's gay capital in a caravan. On arrival he buggers his way through the city's gay clubs. A particularly memorable scene shows the arty dwarf bumming a Portuguese trans-sexual over a bar stool whilst a fruity-looking barman douses him with a soda syphon.
Fruity queen: So Briggsy, what title did you give your film in which you do Brighton? Something really clever?
Briggsy: Of course. I decided to call it "Briggsy Does Brighton"
Briggsy: Of course. I decided to call it "Briggsy Does Brighton"
by Colin Cummerbund December 9, 2006
Get the Briggsy Does Brighton mug.Briggsy: Why pay for vaseline when my beautiful face produces copious amounts of Briggsy's Special Lube free of charge?
by Colin Cummerbund October 18, 2006
Get the Briggsy's Special Lube mug.A variety of dogging popular in arty circles. Instead of using cars the homosexual participants arrive on penny-farthings and bugger each other senseless.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
Get the Briggsy dogging mug.A variety of spanking indulged in by arty types. The spankee coats his arse with oil paints of many colours and bends over a sculpture of Shakespeare. The spanker then larrups the spankees paint-smeared buttocks with a palette or rolled-up canvas. The gleeful yelpings of the spankees are often recorded and sold in art shops as "Sounds to inspire you".
That fellow with the easel has quite a limp. Aubrey.
Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
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I've been living off the vending machine at work for a week. I think I'll soon be dropping a Briggsy jobbie.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
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