An art prize for artists too obscure and ludicrous for even the Turner Prize. Entrants for the Briggsy Prize have included a lamb chop stuffed inside a small child's mitten, the word "talent" written on an Etch-a-sketch and a Christmas card torn in half next to a copy of the Scunthorpe Yellow Pages.
Art critic: What piece are you currently working on?
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
Artist: I've got a polystyrene box which I've painted purple and filled with baked apples. It represents the pain and despair of missing a phone call when you're in the shower.
Art critic: Should make the shortlist for the Briggsy Prize.
by Colin Cummerbund December 12, 2006
Going to the pub during your work lunch-break and consuming a meat pie and at least four pints of beer. The effect is doubled if the person doing a Searby has grey curly hair.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
What do you call a deformed midget who cracks one off to "Dancing Queen"?
Little Briggsy?
You got it, Squire.
Little Briggsy?
You got it, Squire.
by Colin Cummerbund September 06, 2006
A variety of spanking indulged in by arty types. The spankee coats his arse with oil paints of many colours and bends over a sculpture of Shakespeare. The spanker then larrups the spankees paint-smeared buttocks with a palette or rolled-up canvas. The gleeful yelpings of the spankees are often recorded and sold in art shops as "Sounds to inspire you".
That fellow with the easel has quite a limp. Aubrey.
Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
Yes. I think you'll find he's been the spankee in some Briggsy spanking.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006
A hearty meal served in gay bars. Usually consists of a lump of mature nob cheese with arse pickle, thickly-sliced bread and pork pie with semen relish. Regional variations can include a rats-cock side dish with diarrhoea drizzle.
Come on Quentin, let's go to The Pink Dildo for a Briggsy Ploughman's. I'm bloody starving after that rimming session.
by Colin Cummerbund September 18, 2006
A type of Brothel worked by only the oldest, ugliest and most disease-riddled prostitutes. These women can't do business with regular clients as they are so repulsive no one would pay for them. Instead they are condemned to a Briggsy Brothel where only the oldest, ugliest and most disease-riddled clients go. Regular prostitutes won't do business with these clients as they are so repellant. Thus the Briggsy Brothel matches up hideous hookers with repulsive johns. The BB is such a niche profession that the hookers are frequently idle. These disused prostitutional wastes pass the time by exchanging treasured possessions such as genital warts and fanny slugs.
by Colin Cummerbund September 08, 2006
The turd which is produced after living on crisps, coke and chocolate bars for several days. Its a hideous, grey and sometimes hairy turd which smells so bad it can cause buildings to be evacuated for months.
I've been living off the vending machine at work for a week. I think I'll soon be dropping a Briggsy jobbie.
by Colin Cummerbund September 21, 2006