to hilltop

v., coll.; to get drunk on a Sunday night, or, more loosely, at any time when being intoxicated is completely uncalled for. Its origin is unknown.
Joe: "Dude, you nearly fell over that chair! Are you wasted?"
Dale: "Yeah mane, I decided to hilltop tonight bro." (vomits)
by Col. Hans Landa October 23, 2011
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shooting the sheriff

v., when someone who's already up shit creek alienates or insults somebody who honestly could have helped them get back to shore. Essentially, burning bridges with regards to people.
Guy 1: "Hey man, how did your meeting with the RA go today? Did you get out of the alcohol warning?"
Guy 2: "No man, I told her she looked sexy in her dress, and she wrote me up for sexual harassment too."
Guy 1: "Wow man, you really like shooting the sheriff, huh?"
by Col. Hans Landa November 08, 2011
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dischner syndrome

rapid, inexplicable widespread popularity followed by a long, protracted decline in social capital, terminating in universal disdain
A.: "Dude, what ever happened to Bob Applesworthy?"

B.: "Freshman year he was the shit around here. But I don't think he has any friends anymore."
A.: "Dischner syndrome."
B.: "Totally."
by Col. Hans Landa September 13, 2013
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majority decision

The best excuse for stupid choices.
Chris: "So Jake, why are we going into the eerie Aztec temple before we know how to contact the park ranger?"
Jake: "Majority decision."
by Col. Hans Landa October 04, 2011
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straw poll

An extremely unorganized form of voting, usually used by self-appointed leaders when they don't have the desire to actually consider what the group wants but need to make it look like it was a majority decision.
Intramural captain: "Okay dudes, who can make it Monday to practice? Quick straw poll!" (two people out of thirty raise their hands)
Captain: "Monday it is!"
Guy #1: "90% didn't vote."
(Captain shoots Guy #1 in the face.)
by Col. Hans Landa October 04, 2011
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John Galt

The hero of the philosophical epic, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. John Galt is the perfectly integrated human being who understands the role of man's mind in existence, and acts upon it. It is he who initiates the strike against the secondhanders and saves the world from unreason.

Related terms include the often-asked question Who is John Galt? and going Galt.
"Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world."
by Col. Hans Landa August 26, 2011
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bullshitspeak

a language spoken by businessmen and CEOs. Used to confuse the people they're about to steal mad cash from by replacing common concepts with words that sound nice.

Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom

Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares

Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun

Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win
Salesman: "The price point of this house is so high, if you purchase now we can heavily recommend the likely executive redecision committee to select the nearby land for habitat enrichment rather than strategic redevelopment -- that is, if you agree to a slightly more significant lease agreement."

Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"
by Col. Hans Landa December 30, 2011
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