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Col. Hans Landa's definitions

responsible

adj.; to be a in a state of having caused some action, usually either primarily or voluntarily. Almost always refers to the actions of human beings.
Hitler is responsible for the Holocaust.

The American people are responsible for electing their next president.
by Col. Hans Landa February 23, 2012
mugGet the responsiblemug.

dischner syndrome

rapid, inexplicable widespread popularity followed by a long, protracted decline in social capital, terminating in universal disdain
A.: "Dude, what ever happened to Bob Applesworthy?"

B.: "Freshman year he was the shit around here. But I don't think he has any friends anymore."
A.: "Dischner syndrome."
B.: "Totally."
by Col. Hans Landa September 13, 2013
mugGet the dischner syndromemug.

Oakland, Pittsburgh

prop. n. a huge neighborhood in Pittsburgh, located in the city's East End, just east of Downtown and the Hill District. Oakland is Pittsburgh's most historic area, and is dominated by the University of Pittsburgh, Carnegie Mellon University, and several UPMC hospitals. It is also where the Carnegie Library, Phipps Conservatory, Schenely Park, and Central Catholic may be found. Oakland is incredibly diverse, ranging from the student ghetto of South Oakland to the million-dollar estates at Schenely Farms in Central Oakland.

During the school year, there are inexhaustible options of what to do in Oakland, including parties, bars, and the O. When school is out, the streets are dead.
"I live in Oakland." "Wow, just move to SF." "Not the Californian city! Geez, I live in the real Oakland -- Oakland, Pittsburgh!"
by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011
mugGet the Oakland, Pittsburghmug.

alpha

n. the leader of a given fraternity. Usually seen in the frat picture wearing Lacoste shorts and shirt with a Ralph Lauren sports coat, Gucci sunglasses, and holding a cat. He is usually sweet as fuck.
"Hello, welcome to the party. I am the alpha of this fraternity." "You're sweet as fuck!" "I know."
by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011
mugGet the alphamug.

student ghetto

n. an urban neighborhood primarily inhabited by college students, and located near major universities. A combination of students' low incomes, lifestyles, and constant demand for housing provides landlords no incentive to maintain their properties and locals no incentive to stay. Although shabby, these areas usually have fairly row crime rates when compared with actual ghettos.

Examples include: Oakland in Pittsburgh (Pitt and CMU), Hyde Park in Chicago (UChicago), and the entirety of State College, PA (Penn State)
Parent: "The area around the University looks awful!" Tour guide: "Don't worry, ma'am, it's just a student ghetto."
by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011
mugGet the student ghettomug.

Jefferson Hills

prop. n. A neighborhood in the South Hills of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Inhabited by gods of life, the most beautiful women, and geniuses. Despite this, there is nothing to do. Its high school also fails to reflect the near-divinity of the population.

Also known as "Thomas Jefferson" or "T.J."
L'Maison Eternelle and the Kingdom are two famous houses in the Jefferson Hills.
by Col. Hans Landa August 22, 2011
mugGet the Jefferson Hillsmug.

friendometer

A very rough scale, usually used in jest, to establish how close you are with a given individual. The friendometer is divided into two sections, acquaintances and friends, which have more specific categories within them:

ACQUAINTANCES

Weak Acquaintance - someone you know by name, and will say hello to

Strong Acquaintance - same as above, may have brief conversation. Friends-of-friends and friends-by-association usually fall into this category

FRIENDS
Weak friend - can have brief, meaningful conversation with, but see rarely. Some friends-by-association can be this.

Friend - the average, you can hang out with this person and have normal, graceful conversation.

Good friend - someone who you chill with a lot and have meaningful conversation

Close friend - someone who you always want to hang out with and can tell almost anything to

Best friend - someone who you would sacrifice a lot for, who you admire and love deeply, and to whom you can tell anything about your life; usually you have 5 or 6 best friends in the whole world, including family members
The friendometer is helpful when trying to assess one's closeness to someone, but obviously like all scales cannot completely describe the way the world operates.
by Col. Hans Landa November 15, 2011
mugGet the friendometermug.

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