Col. Hans Landa's definitions

WPIAL

abbr.; Western Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletic League. The organization through which high schools in Western Pennsylvania compete for dominance, with schools being divided into A ("single A"), AA ("double A"), AAA ("triple A"), or AAAA ("quad A") categories based on size.

The WPIAL champion usually contends with the EPIAL champion in the state championship contest.

Gonna see CCHS destroy the WPIAL at Heinz Field #rollvikes #roadtohershey

by Col. Hans Landa September 30, 2011

Phi Mu Delta

a kick-ass, small, national fraternity. Unlike the ridiculous douchebags who populate the usual frathouse, Phi Mu Delta advocates true fraternity, democracy, and service to the community. Its members are brothers in the truest sense of the word.

"Where you pledging, bro?"
"Phi Mu Delta, because I believe in brotherhood and kindness."

by Col. Hans Landa March 21, 2012

student ghetto

n. an urban neighborhood primarily inhabited by college students, and located near major universities. A combination of students' low incomes, lifestyles, and constant demand for housing provides landlords no incentive to maintain their properties and locals no incentive to stay. Although shabby, these areas usually have fairly row crime rates when compared with actual ghettos.

Examples include: Oakland in Pittsburgh (Pitt and CMU), Hyde Park in Chicago (UChicago), and the entirety of State College, PA (Penn State)

Parent: "The area around the University looks awful!" Tour guide: "Don't worry, ma'am, it's just a student ghetto."

by Col. Hans Landa August 1, 2011

Jefferson Hills

prop. n. A neighborhood in the South Hills of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Inhabited by gods of life, the most beautiful women, and geniuses. Despite this, there is nothing to do. Its high school also fails to reflect the near-divinity of the population.

Also known as "Thomas Jefferson" or "T.J."

L'Maison Eternelle and the Kingdom are two famous houses in the Jefferson Hills.

by Col. Hans Landa August 22, 2011

friendometer

A very rough scale, usually used in jest, to establish how close you are with a given individual. The friendometer is divided into two sections, acquaintances and friends, which have more specific categories within them:

ACQUAINTANCES

Weak Acquaintance - someone you know by name, and will say hello to

Strong Acquaintance - same as above, may have brief conversation. Friends-of-friends and friends-by-association usually fall into this category

FRIENDS
Weak friend - can have brief, meaningful conversation with, but see rarely. Some friends-by-association can be this.

Friend - the average, you can hang out with this person and have normal, graceful conversation.

Good friend - someone who you chill with a lot and have meaningful conversation

Close friend - someone who you always want to hang out with and can tell almost anything to

Best friend - someone who you would sacrifice a lot for, who you admire and love deeply, and to whom you can tell anything about your life; usually you have 5 or 6 best friends in the whole world, including family members

The friendometer is helpful when trying to assess one's closeness to someone, but obviously like all scales cannot completely describe the way the world operates.

by Col. Hans Landa November 15, 2011

responsible

adj.; to be a in a state of having caused some action, usually either primarily or voluntarily. Almost always refers to the actions of human beings.

Hitler is responsible for the Holocaust.

The American people are responsible for electing their next president.

by Col. Hans Landa February 23, 2012

dischner syndrome

rapid, inexplicable widespread popularity followed by a long, protracted decline in social capital, terminating in universal disdain

A.: "Dude, what ever happened to Bob Applesworthy?"

B.: "Freshman year he was the shit around here. But I don't think he has any friends anymore."
A.: "Dischner syndrome."
B.: "Totally."

by Col. Hans Landa September 13, 2013