Coell's definitions

busier than a cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond

A phrase your grandparent might use to describe being busy with a futile, impossible, or endless task.

Cats like to cover their feces, but if they've done their business on a frozen pond, no matter how long they try to dig up something to cover it with, their paws will always slide on the ice. The joke is the mental image of a cat making the digging motion on ice for a long time.

I don't know why I keep weeding that garden. I've been busier than a cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond, but I tell you what, there's gonna be just as many dandelions tomorrow.

by Coell June 13, 2006

truthocution

To receive a deadly amount of truth. Pun based on truth + electrocution.

"Shave your head, strap yourself in, and throw the switch -- you're about to get a truthocution." -- Stephen Colbert on Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, October 20, 2005

by Coell October 28, 2005

cold deck

(n) In poker, a deck of cards that a player feels is not yielding an average number of playable hands.

"I'm not sure if it's a cold deck or I suck, but I can't win a hand tonight!"

by Coell May 14, 2005

hag along

Straight women who love gay men are called fag hags, so when these ladies follow the guys around and want to be their best friends, instead of being tag alongs, they are hag alongs.

"You guys are going to the Triangle? Can I hag along?"

"I use my hag along as a beard for Thanksgiving."

by Coell December 30, 2005

paint

Face cards in poker.

When the flop includes a Jack, King, and Queen a player may say "That's a lot of paint."

by Coell May 14, 2005

bloody buddy

Bloody Mary, the cocktail. Popularized by Adam Sandler and David Spade's sketch "Dude", in which a group of surfers, stoners, and ganstas get drunk and crash a train.

"How bout a Bloody, buddy?"
"Don't mind if I do."

by Coell May 15, 2005

flop cop

In poker, a person who never folds pre-flop. Must see every hand. Won't let anyone steal blinds. Calling station.

"What are you, George -- the flop cop?"
"I had an ace; I had to see it."

by Coell May 18, 2005