2 definitions by Chris P. Bacon 4U !
Lauren is a unique woman who claims to be from North Jersey but in reality is from SLOWER JERSEY (AKA South Jersey). This is a sensitive issue and any mention of it should be avoided.
Lauren does NOT enjoy grocery shopping but chooses instead to “Shop On Line.” She does this because of her inability to control her violent urge to assault other shoppers by punching them in the throat when they get in her way. She is known to have low tolerance for other individuals shopping at the same time as her. Lauren is well known in the store for using the “Shop At Home” option but then NOT going to the store to claim her shopped items...
In addition to the above, Lauren is also known as an “Excellent Driver” like Rainman. She claims to enjoy road trips but does not enjoy driving in NYC or other inner city environments because of all the congestion. Be careful when she is on the road or behind you because her urge to drive you off the road is definitely a factor.
Lauren is also excellent at harvesting kidney’s from men. She has lots of surgical tools including Flunitrazepam (also known as Rohypnol among other names) and with lots of contacts on the black market & dark web, she can make a nice profit on the harvested organs.
But don’t let the above fool you. She is an AMAZING woman who is fun to chat with, is beautiful, articulate, funny with a razor sharp wit and if given the chance, will definitely steal your heart and kidney at the same time.
Lauren does NOT enjoy grocery shopping but chooses instead to “Shop On Line.” She does this because of her inability to control her violent urge to assault other shoppers by punching them in the throat when they get in her way. She is known to have low tolerance for other individuals shopping at the same time as her. Lauren is well known in the store for using the “Shop At Home” option but then NOT going to the store to claim her shopped items...
In addition to the above, Lauren is also known as an “Excellent Driver” like Rainman. She claims to enjoy road trips but does not enjoy driving in NYC or other inner city environments because of all the congestion. Be careful when she is on the road or behind you because her urge to drive you off the road is definitely a factor.
Lauren is also excellent at harvesting kidney’s from men. She has lots of surgical tools including Flunitrazepam (also known as Rohypnol among other names) and with lots of contacts on the black market & dark web, she can make a nice profit on the harvested organs.
But don’t let the above fool you. She is an AMAZING woman who is fun to chat with, is beautiful, articulate, funny with a razor sharp wit and if given the chance, will definitely steal your heart and kidney at the same time.
Oh no... is that Lauren pushing a shopping cart into the Supermarket???? YES it is... better call EMS now, there are going to be a LOT of casualties.
by Chris P. Bacon 4U ! February 27, 2018
Proper Noun
(Pronounced- The SCHWAAAAAAAAAAA)
1. A term used to describe the act of sexual activity that will rock the woman’s world and make her fall deeply in love with you because NO ONE has EVER made love to her like that before.
2. To make love to a woman so passionately that she immediately forgets about ALL past lovers and past transgressions. She will then focus and direct ALL her energy and future attention on figuring out how to capture you and make you stay.
3. To make love to a woman so well, you leave her in a state of ecstasy. A LOVE Trance.
4. An individual from Northern New Jersey (Bergen County) who possesses traits that women find irresistible. He has a BIG SMILE and the charm of a Knight in Shining Armor. He is known in some circles as THE KING’s brother.
The Schwaaa is also known to wear a gold pinky ring, diamond earring and is known to eat the following items: boiled peanuts, pork rinds, chicken feet, cow’s tongue, octopus and tripe. (Not at the same time.)
SPECIAL NOTE: Be careful- DO NOT use The Schwaaa without full knowledge and understanding. The Schwaaa is a powerful tool and should only be used by those with the utmost care and responsibility. It is also imperative to know when and where to use The Schwaaa.
Women.... Beware of The Schwaaa and it’s almighty powers!!!
Originated from Bergen County, NJ- Yo, Yo, Yo.... Top of the Food Chain!!!
(Pronounced- The SCHWAAAAAAAAAAA)
1. A term used to describe the act of sexual activity that will rock the woman’s world and make her fall deeply in love with you because NO ONE has EVER made love to her like that before.
2. To make love to a woman so passionately that she immediately forgets about ALL past lovers and past transgressions. She will then focus and direct ALL her energy and future attention on figuring out how to capture you and make you stay.
3. To make love to a woman so well, you leave her in a state of ecstasy. A LOVE Trance.
4. An individual from Northern New Jersey (Bergen County) who possesses traits that women find irresistible. He has a BIG SMILE and the charm of a Knight in Shining Armor. He is known in some circles as THE KING’s brother.
The Schwaaa is also known to wear a gold pinky ring, diamond earring and is known to eat the following items: boiled peanuts, pork rinds, chicken feet, cow’s tongue, octopus and tripe. (Not at the same time.)
SPECIAL NOTE: Be careful- DO NOT use The Schwaaa without full knowledge and understanding. The Schwaaa is a powerful tool and should only be used by those with the utmost care and responsibility. It is also imperative to know when and where to use The Schwaaa.
Women.... Beware of The Schwaaa and it’s almighty powers!!!
Originated from Bergen County, NJ- Yo, Yo, Yo.... Top of the Food Chain!!!
(Steven on the telephone)
Hello Honey, How YOU doin? Listen honey... If you’re lucky, I’m going to give you The Schwaaa!
(Woman on other end of the call)
What’s The Schwaaa?
(Steven)
<Evil Laugh> HeHeHeHeHeHe - you’ll find out and NEVER be the same again!
(Woman on other end of the call)
<BIG SMILE>
Hello Honey, How YOU doin? Listen honey... If you’re lucky, I’m going to give you The Schwaaa!
(Woman on other end of the call)
What’s The Schwaaa?
(Steven)
<Evil Laugh> HeHeHeHeHeHe - you’ll find out and NEVER be the same again!
(Woman on other end of the call)
<BIG SMILE>
by Chris P. Bacon 4U ! February 5, 2018