Definitions by ChiefPoof

jizz blindness

When tinsel crowning goes drastically wrong

I was waiting so long to be crowned last night, I looked up and got jizzed right in my eye. I had jizz blindness for a while and when I could see again, Brad had given me tinsel eye shadow

jizz blindness by ChiefPoof May 28, 2016

airline seat emoji 

The most pointless emoji ever created. What wanker uses an emoji of an airline seat?

Jonny: 💺
Jeanie: What's that?
Jonny: an airline seat emoji
Jeanie: you are a wanker, Jonny

airline seat emoji by ChiefPoof May 28, 2016

Yankee candle and chill 

Like Netflix and chill, but when you want to make love instead of fuck

Dude: hey baby. What me to come over to watch some Netflix and chill later?
Bae: yeah sure, but I need to feel close to you, can we Yankee candle and chill instead?

Yankee candle and chill by ChiefPoof May 27, 2016

triple hashtag wanker 

A specific type of wanker who constantly uses three hashtags in every Twitter post.

I just can't read Andy's posts. He is a totally a triple hashtag wanker. #completely #a #wanker

triple hashtag wanker by ChiefPoof May 27, 2016

rainbow shit

When you have been in such a happy mood for longer than three weeks, that it affects your shit - turning it into a wonderful display of happiness as it is pooped out. Can be put on display. The multicoloured shit is often in the order of the rainbow if the happiness is genuine and if the colours are out of order, there is an underlying issue of mania which can be diagnosed by slicing the shit horizontally.

Dudette 1: I love what you have done with your bathroom
Dudette 2: you do? Thanks. I have been on such a high this last month I knew I was due some rainbow shit
Dudette 1: but how did you get that pattern?
Dudette 2: I just ate a fucking hot curry one night and in the morning: tada!.....rainbow walls!

rainbow shit by ChiefPoof May 27, 2016

Snow Brain 

A complete and utter mush of your brain as soon as you see snow falling. Full effect happens when at least 2 inches of the white stuff is on the ground and you can play. Snow brain takes over all thoughts and ensures you forget everything you should be doing and forces you to get excited about rolling about in it. Often affects children and diminishes as you get older, but not always. Often affects men more than women. Women equivalent is baby brain.

Look! Look!! It's snowing!!! I'm so excited!!! I can't think of a thing else! I have to go! I have snow brain!

Snow Brain by ChiefPoof May 27, 2016

hypegal 

A woman who fluffs you up before you get on to perform. Often uses Kanye West or Taylor Swift to motivate you

Peter: I need a hypegal

Brittany: I am on it. Haters gonna hate, but I'm fluff ready...

hypegal by ChiefPoof May 27, 2016